annieology

Remember when the preacher said “and the two shall become one”?  Well, I don’t know, but that’s been a long, difficult, incomplete process around here.

Physically, it was an easy (and fun) process.  Initially.  Eventually a ten pound baby got in the way and it became apparent that we were of differing minds.  Our differing mindset, lasted a lot longer than it needed to.  It would have been easy to give up and settle into that mindset, figuring that’s how life is.  This is what everybody says marriage is like.  First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage, and by the time you put the carriage on the curb, you might as well throw out  the marriage as well, because you can no longer find the love.

Our marriage lasted, not because we were lucky to avoid what others haven’t, rather we were diligent, and it was blessed.   We are blessed.

Financially speaking, the first seven years of our marriage could be considered normal.  Build credit.  Get into debt.  Become hopeless.  Repeat that cycle til you die.  Several years ago, I started listening to Dave Ramsey and I wanted to get out of debt and stay there.  It was terrifying.  “What if?” became my constant companion.  Today, we are debt free.  In a couple of years, we will have the house paid for.  We just paid cash for a new roof and a plumbing emergency.  We still have money in the bank.  It was not easy to become like minded in the area of finances, but it is so worth it.  We don’t have to worry if my husband loses his job.  Now that it is just the house, “What if?” is back.  What if we have to move?  Well, renting cheap for two years wouldn’t be the end of the world.  What I do know is that when Hubby and I agree on how to spend money there’s a lot of it left over.

Every day there seems to be something that we don’t agree on.  Most times, neither of us is too tied to our opinion.  Those times are easily resolved.

Sometimes, I just submit because he is the head of the household.  Like sending Dagan to college with no money and no safety net.  My mama bear mind wanted to baby her.  Intellectually I knew that I needed to be an eagle mama and throw her off the cliff, prepared to be there if she needed.   He was right.  It’s been a year, and we’ve seen our share of Dagan’s friends come home with nothing but a student loan and a wasted year.  She has less than one year left, she’s still alive, and our relationship has never been better.

Sometimes, I don’t give in and he does because he sees that it is important to me.  And then there are times where both of us have strong opinions and neither of us are willing to budge.

Then what?

When we reach a stalemate in the Awesome household, I pray.  And my words are feeble, I always try to find God’s words to pray.  In the event of a stalemate, I pray

Philippians 2:2 – Then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

I pray it for three days, figuring if God can change a dead person into a live person in three days, then he can change a mind in three days, even mine.

When it reaches this point, I’ve disciplined myself to accept whatever answer comes of it.  If Hubby’s mind is changed.  Good.  If mine is changed, then I’m at peace with it.  It hasn’t failed me yet.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 12th, 2009 at 5:38 am and is filed under Holy Matrimony, Batman, Kindle, annieology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.