annieology

I consider myself to be a very spiritual person.  Well beyond the societal definition of acceptable.  I talk to God.  God talks to me.  I just figure if one is to believe in a creator and ruler of the universe it is really self absorbed to think that I am the only one that has any input in the conversation.

While I’ve never declared the blog to be off limits, spiritually speaking, I don’t feel that I am called to be a devotional writer or be a cheerleader to the people who are already on our team.  There are others who do it so much better than I ever could.  Those who ooze godliness and make you want to be a better person.  That is not me.  I am the one who gets held after class for giggling about “movements of God” or picturing “When Deer Attack” videos in my head when someone speaks of the “graceful doe” that is the wife of your youth.

But apparently I’ve stumbled upon something big in the spiritual realm.  I know this because I am in the middle of the most gigantic spiritual assault that has ever been lodged against me.  I’m used to being shot at, I live in a rough neighborhood, spiritually, but this?  This I’m not used to.  Number one way to get me spiritually is to muck up my sleep.  I got wise to that one awhile back and usually call Satan out on it right away.  This time I missed it.  Completely.

I have been too focused on the disdain I was feeling towards my kids.  All of them in their own unique way has found the button that annoys me most and have been hammering it like a Whack a Mole at the arcade.

Still, I missed the bigger picture.

Completely ignored the affected sleep.  Completely ignored the increased irritability.  Completely ignored my willingness to compromise core beliefs in order to make my life less complicated.  Completely willing to give up.  Not to be bad.  No, I don’t need to be bad to be ineffective.  I just need not be the best that I could be.

Apparently I’m close to whatever that is.

So Satan, I’m calling you out.  Demanding you leave.  You are not the boss of me.  I will sleep, I will love, I will be.   I will do it to a degree of awesomeness not yet seen.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 5th, 2009 at 9:42 am and is filed under God is good, Kindle, Me being Awesome. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.