annieology

I was walking into Target today when I passed an acquaintance.

“Hi Annie, how are you?”

“Fine thanks, and you?”

Although I wasn’t fine.  It was a big fat lie.  My eyeballs are on fire and I can’t breathe.  She didn’t want to hear that, just exchanging pleasantries. Although open ended questions as a greeting, doesn’t seem right to me.

To make my day a little more miserable, I kept being reminded that Dr. Oz was right and that really pisses me off.

He ordered everyone to have 30 days worth of food on hand in case yo u get sick, that way you don’t have to go to the store when you are sick.  Good advice.  Dammit.

So, I wandered into Target because I didn’t want to go to the  monstrosity that is the Super Duper Grocery store.  I figured that Target would have jelly and paper towels in their “market”  I mean jelly, how hard is that?  I need some for the PB & J that will surely be tonight’s dinner.  Also needed plates and napkins for a class party and figured while I was there I would stock up on cold and flu remedies because I don’t want to have to explain to Tech Support or Big Boy what works for me and what makes me puff up like a marshmallow.

But Target didn’t have jelly.  Seriously?  Peanut butter, bread, why can’t you have jell?   Even a crappy kind would suffice, seriously how will you ever compete with that Mart if you can’t even stick five jars of jelly on your shelf.

Jelly dilemma threw me off. Not on the list, but I’m always looking for hairbands.   Hairbands and pens, I’ve lost at least five years worth of life looking for hairbands and pens.

At check out someone was paying by check.  Although when they realized it would be run immediately was trying to get some 17 year old minimum wager to promise them it wouldn’t debit their account immediately.

A.  It’s 2009 WE DON’T WRITE CHECKS ANYMORE PEOPLE

B.  It’s 2009 WE DON’T FLOAT CHECKS ANYMORE PEOPLE

So, I had to change lines, in order to keep me free from felonies.  The cashier in lane number 8 liked her job a little too much.

“Did you find everything OK?”

No, no I didn’t why can’t you carry jelly?  You have everything to make a perfect sack lunch but the jelly.  Why?   Why?  Now I have to go to the Mart or the Monster.  I hate both.  I’m sick, and I just want to go home and put my head in the freezer.

“Yes, thank you.”

Another lie.  She handed me my change and about 15 coupons that printed out as a result of my hairband/festive plate and napkin purchase.

One of the coupons was for paper towels. Dang, forgot those.  But thanks.

So, off to the Super Duper Market.  My best time in and out is 18 minutes and I had to pick up the littles in 15, I could totally make it if I stayed focused.  Wouldn’t you know they have rearranged the store a bit since my last jelly purchase.  AAAAND the jelly I was looking for was not readily visible.  It was on the bottom shelf.  What do you people have against the fine company at Welch’s?  Not only that but Yay, it was on sale.  But boo, they were mostly gone.  There were three left.  All clinging to the back wall.  On the bottom shelf.  And I’m wearing a skirt.  A short one.  And oooooh the grocery store floor.  So, on my hands and knees getting me some jelly so I can avoid cooking later, and realized that the floor was about 20 degrees cooler than the air, I just wanted to press my face into its coolness and take a nap.  But that’s not focus.  So, I grabbed my jelly and my dignity and ran to the front of the store.  Luckily there were no morons trying to figure out the complex self checkout and I was able to scan my jelly/papertowels/cookies/and misc other sugar laden carbs, and get out rather quickly.

Only two minutes late picking up the littles, and I was the first mom their today.  The teacher asked if so and so had caught me this morning, something about everybody grabbing lunch together.  So, I incorrectly figured that everyone else was having a super time at a lunch that I wasn’t invited to.

Luckily, this is a mom more organized than I.  Lunch on Thursday.  Otherwise….

Speaking of this morning, spent two hours at the eye dr for my five month post LASIK checkup.  Need to tweak the left eye.  And the chart they use?  Left eye is on the right side of the paper.  Wouldn’t it make sense to have the left eye on the left side of the paper?  Maybe that would make sense if they put the paper behind my head and worked on me from the front, but I  put my head in their lap…..  I will be wearing a pirate patch that day, just in case.  As I left they said,

“see you Friday”.  No, can’t sorry, girls weekend, you’ll have to wait til January.

They are nothing if not efficient there at that place.

Anyway, I made it home with the littles.  Having many social engagements, one being lunch, and two being a girls weekend, I need to feel better.  Soon.  So, Tech Support assured me that any heavy equipment operating could be done by him and I chugged me some Nyquil.  Which accounts for this post.

Enjoy it until I am sober and coherent and take it down.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 5:58 pm and is filed under Kindle, Me being Awesome. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.