annieology

Did anybody else get pulled out of class their sophomore year to get “tested” to see what they would be good at?  I think I was supposed to be a watch maker, or a candle stick baker, or something.  I cannot remember.  Because I “was gonna shake my ass, on the hood of White Snakes car” when I grew up, so I didn’t really pay attention that day.

I suppose I should have, because somehow I ended up staying home with six kids.  No way was I going to stay at home with six kids.  I love them, but they are more “consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds” than Pioneer spirit.  And really, the same thing day after day after day after day?  I have been a parent for 19 years, that is way more than 1,000 days of the same thing.  Yes, there were times when I loved it, very brief times, with a very compliant child.  Of the nine kids I’ve parented for longer than a month, I have only gotten one compliant child.

Anyway…

You know, what would make my blog better?  If you made a drinking game out of it and drank a shot every time I said “anyway”  I say it a lot.

Anyway…

I am reading that book, that I won’t bore you with again, but if you are interested. Great book! And trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I wrote down a few things that I like to do.

• Tell stories.
• Make bread.

Then I wrote down what occupations might suit those desires well.  I came up with

• Story teller.
• Rock star.
• Wizard of Oz.

No really, that’s what I wrote down.  I will mail you my index card if you don’t believe me. (not that I could fabricate it after the fact)

Anyway…

Earlier in the week I had already decided that I wanted to work at Target and fold towels.  Two simple reasons, I need to not stay home with kids any longer. Plus, I love the rows of perfectly folded towels, color coordinated, neatly stacked.  So pretty.  Also, the third reason, is no one is really expecting much from the Target towel folder.  If I screw up the towels, well really,” she folds towels at Target and she’s almost 40.  There have been some decisions made somewhere along the line that got her here.”  So to sum up.  Low expectations, low risk, low drama.  No one is yelling, towels do not break.

Sigh.

For some reason, people expect more from parents.  I don’t know why.

But after reading that book, I decided that folding towels for minimum wage, might not complete me.  So, I looked at my interests list.  Tell stories.  Make bread.

“What if I could tell stories about making bread?”

Anyway…

Better idea now, huh?

But seriously, if I could make bread and tell stories all day.  That would be….wow.

Then last night, Tech Support said “Mr. B wants some bread for tomorrow, could you make some?”  Well, isn’t that lovely?  A sign from God.  Me feeling special because he’s multitasking, you think he’d be too busy in Haiti, but no, he loves me.   So, I decided to remember every detail, so I could tell a story about it later.

Anyway,

I owed Mr. B anyway, (ooh snuck that one in) as earlier this year I insinuated with my actions that he might be a girl.  So, I made him bread.  Great story huh?

It is all absolutely true.

Then, I went to the bakery to pick up petit fours for the twins birthday.  Shut up, I know they are five, but they are getting Shanda Cakes on Friday, they can deal with some petit fours.  For those of you who don’t know what they are, (Tech Support), think fancy Ding Dong.  Yes, I said it.  So, on the door of the bakery is a help wanted sign.  Hmmm?  Maybe.  Because then I could learn how to make petit fours and not have to buy them. EVER AGAIN.  Hmm?

But do you know how much full time day care costs?  For 2.5 children?  $1,300.  And one will only need after school care.  Yikes.  Things they don’t tell you in Lamaze.

If I did get a job at a bakery, I would just consider the day care to be tuition for me.  See if it’s something I might want to do when I grow up.

Anyway,

drink lots of water and take some aspirin before you go to bed tonight, and call a cab if you are going out, I don’t want to see your husbands/wives on the news saying “S/he never drank, I blame Annie and her anyway’s” when your loved one drives the wrong way down the freeway.

Anyway.

This entry was posted on Friday, January 22nd, 2010 at 12:27 pm and is filed under annieology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.