Ground Hogs, Beavers and Bears – Oh My
February began like it does every year. All of America on pins and needles, anxiously awaiting some rodent in Pennsylvania’s determination as to whether or not spring is coming early this year. Felpsy came home and proudly announced that it was Beaver Day and he’d made a hat to celebrate the rodent who came out, looked at the calendar and decided spring was coming the same time it does every year.
March.
Call it corporate conspiracy, but the kiosk at the mall only sells one calendar. The calendar declaring winter’s end in March. Although here’s a marketing idea for you Puxatawny, PA – rodent approved replacement pages declaring spring springing on February 2nd.
Why is it that I’m not the leader of the free world with all my brilliant ideas? My brilliance is going into 99 creative ways to do PB&J.
Which goes completely against everything I learned at the career whatever it was that I participated in high school. I like completed tasks. I only feel fulfilled when a task is completed. Which made parenting a really good career choice.
While the big task won’t be completed for another thirteen years, I can still take pride in the daily victories.
Like not having bears in the house.
You know, like when campers ignore the warning signs and leave food in their car only to wake up and find that a couple of bears have systematically removed their windshield and eaten their seats. Yeah, like that. Because despite my repeated warnings that we will have cockroaches if the kids don’t stop hiding food under the couch in the playroom. We still have food under the couch in the playroom. Every. Day.
While I understand academically the whole attachment disorder, it is another thing to live with it. Every. Day. Yes, I can read on their psych evals that they have little to no “cause and effect” thinking, but it is an entirely different thing to have to parent three children who cannot process information. They have coping skills in the 12% of normal range. Now, I didn’t get a degree in child development, but five year olds are not known for their coping skills to begin with, and to take away 88% of that from one (or three in my case) Yikes!!! I’m looking forward to the teen years when, EVEN IF THEY QUADRUPLE THEIR SKILL, they will not even be coping at 50% of a normal teen. Which is fine, because fully functioning teens cope so well with things already.
Almost as well as two year olds.
So, I am off to another day on the hamster wheel that is trying to teach cause and effect to children who lost that ability somewhere. Trying to somehow convey the fact that when you spill you get wet. Or if you drop something you can also pick it up. Maybe I’ll throw in the difference between the upper and lower case R’s. And if I’m feeling really cocky I will also tell teach them that seasons are indeed determined by rodents, regardless of what the calendar says.
