annieology

What would you like first, the picture?  Or the story?

Alright, the story.

A week ago, Barfapalooza 2K10 started.  Well, longer ago than that, but realize time is relative and you can quote me on this (you’ll be wrong and look stupid, but feel free to quote)  All time is happening at this moment.  In which case I would like to give a shout out to Ralph, as in Waldo Emerson, who so reads my in the quantum view.

Where was I?

Yes, Barfapalooza.

Felpsy had been barfing for days.  Days and days, or just a second, whatever.  There was lots of barf.  And for some reason, I could not get it through his alcohol affected mind that barfing needs to be done, if possible, some place directly tied to the wastewater system.  Nope.  He would find the biggest pile of clean laundry, or where the moulding didn’t quite meet the wall.  Yep, how’s that for a picture in my story?

Anyway

CPS stopped by during the midst of Barfapalooza for their semi annual “make sure they haven’t sold the kids” visit and our caseworker, Miley Cyrus, (because she’s twelve) wondered why we hadn’t taken him to the doctor.  He was barfing.  But he was staying hydrated, he was lucid, he wasn’t coughing, as long as he didn’t eat solid food he was fine.   Now, I know I’m not a doctor.  Most of the reasons you need a doctor are gross.  Plus, it’s one of those professions that you actually have to be there to make money.  Unlike blogging where I sit here for four minutes a day and people send me money.  Sure there is a BIG gap in the salary but one day Dr. Phil, or Oprah or Maury will have me on and I’ll be raking it in.  Really, I wonder if Maury would do paternity tests for me…..Oh relax, on the kids I already have, so not gonna get knocked up to be famous.

Where was I?

Yes, CPS was here, “take him to the doctor or he’ll DIE”.  So, I decided that Tech Support should take him to sit in Urgent Care for four hours, as opposed to me sitting in the ER for nine hours.

After the obligatory “8 Spongebob’s” (which is our unit of time measurement in this house) Tech Support explained to the doctor that Felpsy had had diarrhea and vomiting for 72 hours.  Then the doctor diagnosed Felpsy with “diarrhea and vomiting”.   Tech Support has spent so much time waiting for doctors, he’s actually become one.   It’s only honorary like when celebrities speak at graduation….

While waiting yet another hour for the (permission to leave slip) discharge papers, Tech Support realized that the scrip was for Pedialyte (which we had) and for a medication that was already administered to the barfer, so they left.  Without permission.  (How much do we love a bad boy?)

60 hours after the visit to Urgent Care, Walgreen’s calls me and tells me that there is scrip waiting for  Felpsy.  Which was an anti-nausea, which he no longer needed, but what the hail? Dragging the orphans out to get a scrip that I probably won’t give him will be easier than explaining why I didn’t pick it up.   So, I load up the orphans and drag them over to Walgreen’s where I heard….

“That will be $xx.xx”

“no, it will be $0.00 he’s on Medicaid.”

“That medication needs authorization before it can be administered.”

Well, then get it authorized, because I am so not paying (for medication that isn’t needed 60 hours after it was prescribed) plus, and I’m sorry taxpayers, as long as the kids receive Medicaid, you will be paying for all of their unnecessary medications and treatments.   If you are angry, I’ll give you some names and numbers of people who are refusing to let me adopt them.

Now, let me paint you the picture.

Me, the Ugg wearing foster mom, with my $246 purse and my shiny new iPhone refusing to pay for my little orphan’s medication.

At least my sun glasses were from Target.

(Disclaimer for first time readers….. My “orphans” are our foster children.  Placed with us at birth.  They number three and are now five.  CPS has muddled this case to the point where it would be a TWO hour Dateline special.  Yes, have $1,000 worth of accessories on at any given time but my orphans have been to more places than most American’s.   They are better cared for than Paris Hilton’s pursadoodle.  Feel free to read some more.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at 9:55 pm and is filed under Me being Awesome, annieology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.