annieology

We had a visitor this morning.  Our agency sent out a foster home specialist.  Who’s Miley’s bff?  I don’t know, we’ll call her Skipper, isn’t that Barbie’s bff? That’s who they sent.

Where do you keep your knives?

Out of reach.

I’m sorry, they need to be in a drawer.

That seems right.

“Where do you keep your fire extinguisher?”

We keep it where the FIRE DEPARTMENT told us.

“No, you can’t keep it there.”

Well, that’s where the FIRE DEPARTMENT wants us to keep the FIRE EXTINGUISHER.

Does the health department know you keep it there?

I cannot testify as to what knowledge the health department has.  But, they do, and I don’t think they care.  They care about HEALTH because they are the HEALTH department.  They leave FIRE department business to the FIRE department.

Then Skipper asks us if “there is a better place to put it”.

You seriously aren’t treating me like I’m a three year old?  Are you?  Skipper?  Seriously, you want me to think about my decision and brain storm a more acceptable way of doing things?

I put the FIRE things where the FIRE people tell me, if you’d like I can call the FIRE man over and you two can arm wrestle for control.  Otherwise.  Throw a Frisbee.

Where do you keep your meds?

In a locked cabinet, in a locked closet, in a locked room.

But your keys are hanging right there.

Yes, but I can barely reach them, there are 400 keys, and my kids are not only FIVE, but they do not have the manual dexterity, nor the attention span to unlock three doors to get the Nyquil that has a child cap on it anyway.  Plus, against minimum standards, we have told them ‘NO’  and so they don’t even bother.

But I will put the damn keys in my pocket if it makes you feel better.

“Hey Skipper?  I know you are dealing with important matters such as the temperature of my freezer, but you might be interested that my husband has been trying to get one of the orphans some face time with an entymologist, because he’s such a bug freak.”

No, not really.  We don’t care that you are cultivating their interests and disciplining them so that they have self control, we just want to make sure that your butter is all the way wrapped up.

Do you have a fire escape plan posted?

We did, but we made a copy for adoption and then I don’t know what happened to it.

Well, you need to have a fire escape plan posted.

Yes, because my five year olds will stop and consult it in case of fire.  We have taught them that in case of a fire, don’t first go outside through, preferably a door, but a window if necessary.  The first thing you must do, is consult the fire escape plan that is five feet off the ground in the hall, then go out the nearest exit and proceed to where the plan tells you.

I’m going to leave it at that, because I no longer have cigarette delivery to my house.  But if you are considering foster care…..don’t do it unless God himself is making you.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 at 10:16 am and is filed under Fostering, annieology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.