This is so NOT my day, I had the most hilarious post EVER written and the Mac crashed.  Yes, that’s right, CRASHED.  How much do I want to toss a kitten across the room right now?  Much!

This is what happens when your health care provider puts you on roids.

Anyway, I was trying to tell you of our AWESOME road trip.  It’s awesomeness began with a RAD attack.  Felpsy’s.  I in my desire to please my husband by compiling a balance sheet for our finances that he’d been bugging me about, I imposed a time limit on Felpsy.  He does not do time limits.  Shuts completely down, goes into high anxiety and takes everyone else with him, especially when I am too busy monitoring the activities of four children, packing for a weekend trip, cleaning the house and figuring out that we have $0 that isn’t going somewhere, all while Tech Support is running errands, with zero kids.

So, rage, anxiety.  I hate the world and everything in it.

Whatever.  We got into the car on time.  Spent the next forty five minutes IN THE GARAGE.  Because, in no particular order, “my Leapster is dead, I can’t hear my movie, there is a song I don’t like on my ipod, did you pack the kids toothbrushes, where are the headphones that were all accounted for yesterday? I gotta pee.”

BEFORE we started the car.

An hour and fifteen minutes later we were one mile closer to our 120 mile destination.

We needed a happiness break.

I don’t know if you know this or not.  The “Ten Commandments” are old school.

I’ll let you in on another secret.

God only gave us his top ten list, because we (as humans) need a measuring stick.   We figure as long as we don’t make the top ten, we’re good.   It’s also a nice way to distance ourselves from undesirables.

So, we needed a list of do’s and don’ts and we got the law.  And we obsessed over it for thousands of years.  Every detail of life was spelled out.  Everything from what day to circumcise the boys to what fork to use when eating a salad.  What fork we use isn’t in there?  Oh yeah?  Prove me wrong.

Anyway, (yes it still applies, get yourself a drink)

The law was burdensome, and complicated, and can I still get an epidural on a Sunday?  But God did not intend for us to live under the law.  He was only proving his point, in a way that only God can.

We did not need rules, and regulations.  We needed love and grace.  Which he provided through his son.

And when Jesus was asked which were the greatest commandments he said this

³⁶“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” ³⁷Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38}This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^{[b] 40}All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I have known this for years.  “I love God.  He’s great.  I love people (not so much), they’re super.”  Although tonight I was busted with that one word.

All

Oh sure, he could have ALL of my Sunday.  Or ALL of my something.  But I decided which ALL’s they were.

Ten years ago it was ALL of my leftovers.  I faithfully gave him all of my leftover time and all of my leftover money.

I slowly added things over the years.

ALL of my money.

ALL of my marriage.

Guess what areas in my life are strong right now?

He got some of the rest of it.  Some of the time. Some of the  kids.  Some of my dreams.  And in return I got equal portion to what I had given.

In reality.  He was still getting a lot of nothing.

Because without me giving my ALL in every area of my life, I am not giving it my ALL.

And as much as I think I know what is best in my life, I have been proven wrong.

“I cannot possibly live with someone, TIL DEATH DO US PART,  that has a membership to NPR.”

“I cannot possibly give up my credit cards.  What if…?”

“Oh and if you think you are getting my sex life mister, well, you better rethink that.”

ALL is ALL.  ALL of it.

Including the orphans.

I can say “Thy will be done” but mean “they will take these kids when they pry them from my cold dead hands.”

And I have said it, and I have thought I meant it.   There was always the clause, anything but taking them from our home.

As much as I DO NOT want to say “Thy will be done”

Thy will be done.

And if I stand let me stand on the promise, that you will pull me through, and if I can’t let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you. Rich Mullins

When I was growing up we had Jr. High as opposed to Middle School.  Jr. High started in the seventh grade.  I distinctly remember a time in my life when I COULD NOT WAIT to be a seventh grader.  How cool.  The perks of Jr. High?  Come on.  Wow.  It seemed there could never be anything cooler.  And BONUS we got out 30 minutes before the “little kids”.  Wow.  How badly can one misinterpret reality?

Boog was slighted earlier today.  He and Little Miss Sunshine were playing airplane.   She took it upon herself to assign the duty roster.  “You can drive the plane, I’ll get the drinks.”

“Boys can get drinks too you know.”

No one wanted to be the pilot.  I’m going to spin this as they don’t feel the need to be in a position of power, rather they have a servants heart.  Well, it’s my story that gets told here.

Last week, while on Facebook I got chatted up by a former child of mine.  She wanted to know if she could come and see me.  Since she is still underaged I inquired as to her parents thoughts on the matter.  She emancipated at 17 so I encouraged her to come over whenever she felt like it.

I suppose my thoughts on the matter deserve their very own post.

She’s coming over tonight.

Then I’m going to night two of a women’s conference and let me just ask you this?  Why have we, as women as a whole, not yet gotten it into our pretty little heads that we are AWESOME, SO FREAKING AWESOME, and stop the whining?  Isn’t that the essence of a women’s conference, to tell us how awesome we are?  Apparently this theme sells, but more on that later.

Looking forward to going to church this weekend, corporately speaking.  We have a meeting with the Food Bank next week to finalize paperwork regarding the Back Pack Food Program, probably not in time for Spring Break, but  enough time to work out the kinks before the school year ends and we move from two schools to all of them.  We are doing our neighborhood school, it is not a Title 1 school, the needs here are real,  but overlooked in the evil rich district we live in.  We are also doing a school where it’s estimated that over 90% of the kids will participate.

So, I gots to go scan the horizon for my baby coming home.