annieology

I am so tired.

Hormonal dive bomb if you must.

Apparently my body has once again figured out it is, yet again, not pregnant.

We’ve gone over this body.  Your baby days are over.  Because babies turn in to kids, and kids drive me crazy.

“Yes, I know he’s breathing, it’s required.  If you don’t want him breathing on you get off his face.”

Also, annoyed with my monthly visitor.

CPS

They called this morning saying they were “45 minutes out” – 90 minutes later they still hadn’t arrived.  By the time they did, the orphans were in prime form as I had promised them we’d do something once CPS had come and gone.  It was not ten minutes in when the princess reported that she did not want her mouth washed out with soap.

What?

Apparently, the new CPS worker told Princess she had better watch her mouth or she’d wash it out with soap.

I’ve been cited for less.

Maybe, if I were allowed to do a little more, she would have less of a mouth on her.  But, whatever.  Consider it documented.

No one was in a good mood when they finally left.

I’ve learned a new secret.  After 12 years of marriage I have decided to tell Tech Support when I’m in a bitchy mood.  You know, instead of waiting for him to figure it out after I’ve punched him in the larynx for breathing.

Turns out it works.

And I get ice cream.

Although I had to leave early from that, because the nuns were bothering me.

What were the nuns doing to bother me?

Breathing.

and talking.

You know the place that has 31 flavors?  Also had 31 nuns in it tonight, even though the place was clearly only meant for three.

I have the super power of eaves dropping.

Tech Support is deaf.

As we were leaving we were discussing their presence.  He had been quietly wondering why so many nuns would be gathered in one thirty-one-derful place.

He waited patiently until we were outside instead of asking

“WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE NUNS?”

Because he’s deaf, he usually talks in capital letters, and more loudly than necessary.

It was God’s grace that made him deaf and me blind, because I would have totally asked

“WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ALL THE NUNS?”

Had I seen them that is (Thank you Jesus for lasik)

They were graduating from nun school.  Just taken their vows or whatever.  Although, none of them were wearing rings, so I guess they hadn’t married Jesus yet.

Did I not learn that on Oprah?

I think I did.  I think I learned on Oprah that nuns marry Jesus.  I don’t know.  Oprah people remind me.

Anyway, the nuns were breathing and I was feeling bitchy so we left.

Only to arrive at home, ready to watch Burn Notice, to find out that our orphan minder had stopped it recording.

Really?

You can’t, I don’t know, WATCH THE KIDS instead of the tv?  Since I’m paying you an entire day of “reimbursement” for four measly hours of “work”.

Whatever

She has siblings adopted from foster care, so she at least understands that I can’t wash their mouths out with soap,

or tell them to stop breathing.

Despite my upbringing and efforts to ruin my mental health, I got excused from therapy today.  Again.  The professional seems to think I might have it together, for a bit anyway.

Well, that’s not exactly true.  Tech Support and I are going in for psychological testing, and results and dealing with the results.  So, that’s what, another year? Well, three sessions, we are awesome after all.

I believe we are going in for Temperament tests.  Because, here’s a shocker.  We’re all different,  and sometimes…..I get on other peoples nerves.  Not that he complains.  I would, however, like to get on his nerves less.

OK, before I forget, You have the right to remain silent.  PLEASE, for the love of God, utilize it.  Let’s just say that somebody who shall remain nameless did not and I wanted to kick that someone in the head.

and that is why I’m in therapy in the first place.

Anyway

Do I get to drink when I say ‘anyway’?

What else is happening?

Tech Support and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary while we were on vacation.  We’ve been happily married for 10.2 years, it’s very nice.

We went camping in Oregon.  Yes, camping….and I actually enjoyed it.  Partly because I had a climate controlled RV at my disposal, and partly because my husband didn’t shave for 10 days.  I am a blessed girl.  I think my first book will be “How to be an Awesome traveler” because we do it so well.  Sure we lost a kid in security, but we have extras so no big deal.

People have been asking about the orphans not being orphans for much longer.  I don’t know.  Our caseworker had to call us and ask who had been assigned to do the home study.  Yes, for reals.  Maybe I’m ignorant, but didn’t YOU assign the home study to someone? Or maybe someone MADE A NOTE about it….I don’t know.  So, for now, we are padding our cash reserves with the major scrilla we get from the state.

well, that’s the randomness that is today.  When I wake up tomorrow afternoon, I’ll write something cohesive.  Until then, I’m going to listen to self help books on the iPod while I sleep.  Because the brain never sleeps and I can double my productivity.  Do you people not watch late night infomercials…..

Alternate title: Um, What Day Is It?

I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday.

I was wrong.

I had lost a day.

In the woods.

That’s right people.  I’m camping.  A requirement when they hand you boys.

For the past, unknown number of days, we have been roughing it.  And by roughing it, I  mean living in a 29 foot RV with heat and air conditioning.

There are eight of us in here.  We have a one butt kitchen.  There have been some awkward moments with the father-in-law…just saying.

Princess, as you know is all girl.  Also, a drama queen.  What happens when you mix a princess, with a drama queen, with camping.

OH.  MY.  HAIL.  I’m dirty. I’m sticky. I blah blah blah.  Yes, it’s called camping.  DEAL.

The boys however, are in heaven.  Hea-ven.  The have swirled up a dust cloud that follows them everywhere.  They are playing with fire, and peeing on trees.  Single handedly setting back civilization about 100 years.  You’re welcome.

And, the other roughing it part?  No internet.  I have 3G access on the phone, because ATT covers the forest. It does not cover the ROAD in the forest where I might need it if I have a flat tire and need to call AAA.  But the forest is covered.

Anyway.  I appreciate you all voting for me, despite my absence.  I am going crazy.   I’m a bit of a control freak.  But I love you all and trust you are voting like mad.

When I get back, I will tell you all about how boys like to give you the play by play on everything.  Even pooping.  I’m thinking of calling it “Elvis has left the building” but I haven’t decided for sure.

xoxo

See you if Big Foot doesn’t see me first.