annieology

I woke up in the middle of the night to discover the City by the Sea had been visited by a cold front.  I am by far the coldest person on the planet, and will supply you with references if you don’t believe me.  So, I thought I’d go check on the kids, and will be sure to include that on my parental qualification worksheet should CPS ever approve us to adopt the kids we’ve been raising for five years.  The many small children were huddled and shivering.

Unsure of proper protocol on how to care for shivering small children, and not having the time or inclination to read the minimum standards.  I took it upon myself to turn on the heat.  Having not done so for almost a year now, some dust may have collected  on the heating elements and shortly after getting snuggled back into my Tempurpedic snuggly spot was jolted awake by half a dozen smoke detectors going off.  And so were the kids.  Tech Support, my beloved but deaf husband, did not hear the smoke detectors and I had to explain (yell at him) as to why everyone was screaming and standing in our bedroom.

So, out come the sleeping mats.  But Monday is a housekeeper day and I don’t know what that woman has against leaving things out and in a pile, I had to go and search for the sleeping mats.  And blankets.  All while listening to the smoke detectors cycle on and off periodically with the furnace.  While searching for blankets that were also put away, (sheesh) I decided that next time I will proceed directly to blankets and cut out the smoking, screaming, yelling and searching.

When 6:50 rolled around, I was a little sleepy.  But I have ordered the blue light morning wake up alarm clock that is purported to cure winter blahs, and hoping that it does.  We had a sunrise simulating alarm clock when we lived closer to Canada, it is the only reason I remained employed as long as I did.  Hoping the “new” technology of blueness proves to be as beneficial.  Also, it’s a travel alarm so it will be going on our trip north.

I made boiled eggs for breakfast, because the many small children think that makes me the coolest parent ever. They have lead a deprived life.  They like holding the eggs without a shell.   When I was a child I lived on a ranch that had chickens, occasionally they would lay one with a membrane but not a shell.  We loved those.

Needing my morning Coke, I was happy to see that I had been left one ice cube.  Yes, we have like six trays, and everyone is all in denial about filling them back up.  Another example where my pretty does not mean useful is the freezer without the icemaker.  But I thought it was thoughtful of whomever to leave me one cube.

OH gosh, I was going to lead with this, which is why I’m in need of medication.  No focus whatsoever.

AJ reviewed my blog, nice to get some fresh eyes telling me what they think.  She and her buds are at Blog Brew Review she indicated that she would like to follow me but I didn’t offer that type of commitment.  I will try to make those features more obvious.  But for those of you who like links.  Follow me on Twitter also be a fan on Facebook if you want to follow me on Blogger you can go to your dashboard on the very bottom under your “blogs I’m following” there is an “Add” button.  Click the “Add” button and copy and paste this little bit into that spot. ***** http://annieology.com  ******  boom, you are now following.  This also works with the Google reader.  Up there on the top of my blog underneath the sliding door picture thingies there is a button that says “this is cool stuff” click on that there bad boy and it will add me to your reader.  But again, I will try to be more obvious, and HOPE that AJ comes back.

Anyway, AJ is interested in giving me coffee at 2 a.m. just to see what I come up with.  Oh my she is brave.

So, I got some knee high socks today, because they are all the rage.  I know I’m not sixteen, but still it’s not like I’m wearing jeans with a dress, or am I?  Somebody tell me if close to 40 is too old for knee high socks.  My four year olds think they are so pretty.

Tech Support just texted me that Macs are spectacular.  This is like him announcing he is gay or something.  He is a total Linux snob and I whatever….I won’t get into it.  It’s best to avoid problems before I start them. Although I would like to reiterate that my husband is not now nor ever has been gay.  But the Mac revelation was shocking.

Also today, I went to buy boots for those of us who don’t have snow boots.  That would be all of us.  Turns out the stores in the Tropics don’t carry a large variety of snow boots.  Who knew?

The many small children are about to kill each other, so I should put them to bed.

I am ordering Tshirts that will be ready between Turkey Day and Christmas.  If you have a specific size need speak now or take your chances.  Leave me a comment.  They are $15 plus $5 ish for shipping and handling.  I won’t charge you until they are in stock, but like I said, take this opportunity to pick your size and color.   You can get just about any color you want, my personal favorite is currently the camo.  But I have one in every color.  Most of the people, except Rachel, who have a shirt have posted them on Facebook be a fan and see them all.  Oh wait, Tech Support hasn’t posted his pic either.  Those closest to you….

Have a great day!

Friday I took a flight.  My seat was stolen by none other than a CPS worker.  She played the pathetic orphan card.  She had failed to arrange the seats properly for her and her four charges so she disrupted the whole plane getting them all to sit together.  She was in my seat.  And I got the joy of sitting in her seat, next to the gum smacking granny who couldn’t hear her loud self chomping on her gum because she was wearing her Bose noise reduction headphones, that she never turned off.  Luckily her blatant disregard for keeping on her electronic device did not cause the plane to crash.  Because right now my husband would be sifting through the  CPS workers body parts and I would be burning in Hell because she can’t figure out online check in.

While we are on the subject of air travel.  Don’t try to push your way past me in security because your flight leaves in “five minutes” and you have to stop by immigration.  You aren’t going to make it.

I have convinced several of the many small children that parents are not allowed to buy toys between now and Christmas because we don’t know what Santa has picked out for them.  Judge me for lying to them, but if I don’t lie to them then Santa doesn’t exist in the first place.

I think we are over Santa.

Let’s talk Santa v. God

We know Santa does not exist.  We made him up.  Now, I believe God exists, but cannot prove it.

Why is it ok for me to tell my kids that Santa exists when I can prove he doesn’t, but not ok for me to tell them that God exists when I cannot prove it?

I never have understood that.  When Dagan was little I had this very fight with my boyfriend who was really into the whole Santa thing.  He didn’t believe in God and thought it was cruel that I would withhold the fantasy of Santa from my daughter.  Yet he never did understand why I wouldn’t want to introduce the possibility of God to her.

I am having one of those days when I am hungry.  Doesn’t matter what I eat I feel hungry.  Hungry and full.  Does that every happen to you?  I think it is strange.

I found a pair of leggings last week that cost $540 – I’m not kidding.  $540 for leggings.  Wondering if they can turn you into a six foot leggy blonde.  For that price, they’d better.

Yesterday morning I woke up and had over 1,000 hits and it wasn’t even 9 o’clock.  It turned out to be the best day ever.  And it had been nearly a week since I wrote a post.  I guess I should wear annieology shirts to conventions and airports more often.

The natives are getting restless, so I guess I should do something about that.

But only about important stuff.  Like the fact that I hate poodles and it can carry over to the owner of poodles.  It’s not so much the Purse-a-poos, rather the “Standard” Poodle.  I don’t like them.  I saw a lady with not one, but two of them this weekend.  I wondered what would possess a seemingly normal person to go out and buy barking sheep and then cut their hair and shave them and make them look the way that people make their poodles look.

I don’t think that makes me a bad person.  Except that judgement kills.

I need to remember that.

Don’t believe me?   Here’s a little experiment that will surely get friends (the undesirable people) who are in your life, out of your life.  Start judging their use of time or money and or social skills or weight or what dog they own. Or just make something up.   I bet so and so doesn’t use their time wisely, and they buy stupid stuff and not just the dog but the sweater the dog is wearing.  Who spends money on such crap?  Besides like a million people who like to dress their dogs, but I can’t believe she dresses up her dog.  Can you?

Soon you will spend less time with that person because their sweater wearing dog annoys you too much, you just can’t handle being around them to the point you avoid them until they are no longer in your life.

See how well that worked.  Completely killed a friendship.

This works well with potential friends.  Although it’s more about how they wear their hair, or what they drive,  or how they smell or that their wardrobe is circa 1973.

Yep, killed a potential friendship.

Now, let’s try this in your marriage.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a say in how the money is spent and that the other party can go out and buy a cow because they all of a sudden think that growing your own food would be cool.  No, things like that need to be discussed.

Tech Support and I get an allowance, usually the same amount, sometimes not, but we agree on it ahead of time.  He can spend his money on anything he chooses as long as it not illegal or immoral.  I get to do the same.   While I don’t understand why a frisbee costs more than $2.00 and he cannot understand why I would pay somebody to paint my toes, neither of us has to justify it to the other.  But let’s say that I decided all of a sudden to question his Frisbee purchases.

“Why on earth do you need more than one Frisbee?”

“Do you know how much money you’ve spent on Frisbees?”

“You love your Frisbees more than me.”

Marriage killer.

so….

Dear Poodle Lady,

I apologize for thinking you were stupid because you owned not one but two poodles.  It is apparent that they are cherished members of your family and much better cared for than my own dog.  The kind of love and devotion you have for your dogs is foreign to me and I feel bad that I wish mine would hurry up and die.

Sincerely,

Annie
(The lady driving the Chevy Aveo and rolling her eyes)