annieology

I am not a morning person.  I regularly get up in the morning, but only out of obligation and tradition.  To me, getting up at 8 a.m. and getting up at 5 a.m. are equally annoying, but getting up at 5 gives me a sense of being better than the rest of the world. Running a 5K on top of getting up at 5 just intensified that feeling.

Having had to deal with myself my entire life, I have learned a few key things. First, Night Time Annie is a saboteur.  She stays up entirely too late, chatting with friends, watching TV, having a ball.  She doesn’t care because Morning Annie will deal.  Usually, Morning Annie deals a bit better when Night Time Annie has prepared a few key elements.  So Night Time Annie had set out the running clothes, the shoes, found the keys, and set aside some band-aids to go where that toenail used to be.

I got my hot self ready and moved on to the most important meal of the day.  Because in the last month I’ve learned that 3 miles sucks on an empty stomach.  So what did this discerning athlete have to fuel her day? A Coke (shut up) poured over ice to eliminate as much carbonation as possible taken on an empty stomach to fast track the caffeine and sugar. A Vitamin Water (shut up) with Chia.  For all you VW haters at least one of the ingredients is not blue unlike all that G-ade they were giving away at the park.  Added Chia because it retains water so I don’t have to.  Also had an egg.  Protein without the bulk.

Headed to the park and arrived at the appointed time, proving once again that Tech Support and I have been together for a LONG time.  Judging by the competition that had arrived I should start now and let them catch up and still finish before me.  Luckily, hundreds of others would soon follow and I could be lost in the crowd, again feeling superior that I had arrived early and was not waiting in the super long chip timer line.

Everyone had their iPods and what not.  I had chosen to leave mine in the car.  Not to focus on split times, distance covered, play lists and what not.  Of course it didn’t take long for me to question that decision, I did not have a buffer which was well outside of my comfort zone.  I attached my timing tag and went to eavesdrop on others’ conversations.

Two guys were discussing whether they should run this 5K at the half marathon pace or 5K pace.  I listened to them discuss their weekly running schedule and what times they expected.  I understood all the words they said.  That made me feel like a runner.  A lady started chatting with me.  She was much cooler, younger and skinnier than me.  She had run a few 5K’s and her goal was to actually run the whole thing.  I assessed that she would probably kick my ass, but took comfort in her obsessing.

When it was time to line up, I took a spot in the middle figuring that the people up front wanted their gun time and chip time to match perfectly.  Spent the next four minutes listening to Barbie talk about how long her legs were and how she was capable of walking at a pace most people run at.  We’ll see.  Also picked out a few people I was not going to let beat me.  Jack Jack for one, he was a ball of energy, but I figured he’d fade fast.

And then there was no more avoiding it.  The race had begun.

I had walked the course the day before and had game planned the best course of action for me based on my TWO runs outside this summer and having done all my training in a climate controlled room on a treadmill.  Almost immediately out of the starting gate is a very long hill.  During my walk I had decided it would be best to walk that hill.  Yes, run 40 seconds then walk for two minutes.   Peer pressure almost got the best of me.  But I was strong in my decision to walk.  By the time I reached the top of the hill and started running all fresh and whatnot, I was passing people left and right.  Tired people.  The rest of the first mile was easy, and having reached the mile marker I realized I had yet to see the front of the back begin to double back yet.  Which was awesome because I figured they were running a 6 minute pace (which they were) meaning even with a walk my first mile was better than a 12.  I even made it past the 2 mile sign (on the opposite side of the course) before I started encountering the first wave.

Without the distraction of my music, splits, time elapsed and whatnot I focused on how I felt.  I just felt like running.  It was a gorgeous morning.  The sun had started coming up over the bay and there was a bit of a breeze.  As people started doubling back I noticed a lot of very tall men, skinny girls and a couple of kids.  I saw my fellow obsessor but had not yet seen Barbie double back.  Then I noticed her about 50 feet in front of me.  I began to wonder if her guestimation in herself of 27 minutes was incorrect or if I was totally kicking ass.  Either way,  it kept me going.  After I turned around I walked for a bit then set my sights on something in the distance and decided that I could run til I got there, which I did and kept going.  Deciding to push through until the hill, which I once again walked.

It was here I encountered the group of walkers.  Hah! I was right,  Jack Jack ended up in a stroller.  When I felt like running, I quickly reminded myself that running the hill was not in the plan and it would wear me out faster than I could run it.  When I got to the top I kicked it into gear, Barbie still right in front of me.  I was convinced that her 27 minute estimation in herself was wrong.  Just hoping my time would be under 40.  As my LASIK enabled eyes got a glimpse of the timer it turned over to 36:00.  Really?  That was way better than I had assessed for my first finish.  Yay me.  I pushed the last minute hoping to beat the clock to 37 – which I did not.  Final time: Gun 37:06 Chip 36:52

Barbie beat me by less than 30 seconds.

But I was happy with my result.  I had run a majority of it.  I had stuck to MY plan.  I had run faster than my training pace and yet had enough left to finish strong.

Woody Allen once said “80% of success is showing up.”  I found this to be true.  It was much harder to get to the race than it was to finish it.  I could have used the excuse that I had stayed up too late, or not ran outside, or knowing I was unable to run the hills, not run any of it.  The people cheering for the first wave of runners were cheering for me just as enthusiastically.  Despite the medals being given out indicating who in the group had finished first we were all there racing the same person.   Ourselves.

Gather your drinks, and gather round.

Earlier in the week, I held a press conference.  Fully intending to apologize for my poor behavior at #HomeHer10.  Well, things did not go exactly as planned and I ended up calling @BackpackingDad a “rumor mongering press whore”.  Yeah #annie2012 – Thankfully he appreciated the press, whore that he is, and now I’m even more famous on the internet. There are Facebook pages and such detailing the scandal in it’s entirety.

That’s right, instead of punishing me for my poor behavior and name calling, the internet has awarded me with (some) fame.  Four minutes after he RT’d me my Sitemeter had so many hits, the half hits on the graph had disappeared.  I really don’t know why Sitemeter graphs half hits.  They don’t even exist.

That’ll teach me.  Now, I’m still trying to get Perez Hilton to hate me for hating him.  No such luck, but when Perez hates me…or Focus on the Family.  Either way.  I don’t care.  Each of them are equally skilled at taking a non-issue (myself) and putting it on the radar because they spend so much time trying to shut it down.  Look, no one ever heard of xyz before you brought it up.

Now, redirect your thoughts back to me…

I have three coughing boys.  The Google says coughing without a high fever or barking is nothing to worry my pretty little head about.  At least not until page 15 of the search results.  Then…then my pretty little head starts getting worried.

This morning I got up at 5 ish and took the littles to the beach to watch a turtle release.  I love going to see them, but if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.  The sunrise was absolutely gorgeous though.  While you are on my tweet photo page, see also the turtles.  Eventually I will transfer the pictures to my computer, but that involves brain function of someone who didn’t get  up at 5 ish.

I’ve started signing up for races, and by signing up, I mean thinking about it, detailing my running related expenses in a budget committee meeting and hoping to get denied so I don’t really have to do it, because if I can blame my finances, which I can’t then I don’t really have to see if I can run a 15 K or a half marathon.  And this is the week that Tony Robbins wasn’t on NBC.  I don’t watch it (yes I do).

Without saying why, people never cease to astound me.  This goes both ways,  good and bad.  The generosity of some people amazes me.  Luckily stupid people are everywhere, so as not to make me too hopeful for humanity.

Well, it’s hard to run seven miles when you are asleep, so I should get to bed so I can wake up and run.

But before I do, this is for Perez and/or Focus – I hate Perez. He’s gay. I’m planning a fake wedding to a girl because we both want Elvis to perform our wedding and our husbands don’t get it.

p.s. That’s a period, not a “because”.  Two separate statements.  #becausesomepeopledontknowenglish

I have a picture, but I am on Tech Support’s computer.  Dang him for holding my hand technologically speaking all these years. #cantfigureitout

Go check it out on Twitter.

Twitter I can figure out.

Good thing I’m pretty.

Oh look.  I’m smart too.  I guess you can keep me.

Anyway….

The top of the sign says “If annieology”  but it got cut off somehow.

I really don’t have much to say.  I was only checking in.  Come back in May when I’m expected to be funny.

Also, be prepared to vote for me because this is America dammit.