annieology

Just so you know, if you don’t care about a running discussion, feel free to leave, no hurt feelings.  See you next time.

Since it is Africa hot here in The City By the Sea, I’ve been running on a treadmill inside.  When I started a couple of months ago I ran barefoot exclusively.  Then, American consumerist that I am, bought shoes to run barefoot in.  I know.  Brilliant marketers.

I bought Vibram Five Fingers, I think I have the KSO’s.  I didn’t so much love them.  It felt like I was  still wearing shoes.  My feet still acted like they were in shoes.  My technique was a pathetic cross between shoes and not.  So, I kept running inside barefoot on the treadmill.

As my mileage increased the treadmill got hotter, and after five miles or so very hot, so out came the shoes.  And I’m running and I’m used to running barefoot now so the shoe thing was less of a problem.  My pace remains under the shuttle time.

Last week, I started running a bit outside.  Vary the terrain and what not.  My brain is not used to running barefoot outside and went back into shoe running mode almost immediately.  The other day I ran 7 miles on the treadmill under a 14 minute pace, which is not hugely fast but I did add mileage so I’m happy.  Take it outside and I can barely get around the block, my feet have turned stupid.  My brain is used to running outside a certain way, yet it is used to running inside a new way.  Throw that all together and it was not pretty.

So, for now, cardio training inside.  Learning how to walk barefoot outside.

It’s a process.

The physical aspect of the half marathon has not been nearly as daunting as the mental aspect.  I way over think it.  All.  The.  Time.  Mileage wise, the math looks good, as long as I can figure out how to run outside.  I am currently nine weeks away and scheduled to run 8 miles today.  Even if I just add one mile a week, theoretically I will be able to run 17  miles in nine weeks.   My mind keeps telling me “you’ve never run 17 miles and it’s gonna be even harder because you can’t even walk outside”.  My mind needs to shut the hell up.  Friday it told me to go and drive the course.  Bad idea.  I got tired DRIVING it, because it was so long.

Time to stop worrying my pretty little head and just do it.  I’m gonna go walk around the block, if I can figure out how to.

Gather your drinks, and gather round.

Earlier in the week, I held a press conference.  Fully intending to apologize for my poor behavior at #HomeHer10.  Well, things did not go exactly as planned and I ended up calling @BackpackingDad a “rumor mongering press whore”.  Yeah #annie2012 – Thankfully he appreciated the press, whore that he is, and now I’m even more famous on the internet. There are Facebook pages and such detailing the scandal in it’s entirety.

That’s right, instead of punishing me for my poor behavior and name calling, the internet has awarded me with (some) fame.  Four minutes after he RT’d me my Sitemeter had so many hits, the half hits on the graph had disappeared.  I really don’t know why Sitemeter graphs half hits.  They don’t even exist.

That’ll teach me.  Now, I’m still trying to get Perez Hilton to hate me for hating him.  No such luck, but when Perez hates me…or Focus on the Family.  Either way.  I don’t care.  Each of them are equally skilled at taking a non-issue (myself) and putting it on the radar because they spend so much time trying to shut it down.  Look, no one ever heard of xyz before you brought it up.

Now, redirect your thoughts back to me…

I have three coughing boys.  The Google says coughing without a high fever or barking is nothing to worry my pretty little head about.  At least not until page 15 of the search results.  Then…then my pretty little head starts getting worried.

This morning I got up at 5 ish and took the littles to the beach to watch a turtle release.  I love going to see them, but if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.  The sunrise was absolutely gorgeous though.  While you are on my tweet photo page, see also the turtles.  Eventually I will transfer the pictures to my computer, but that involves brain function of someone who didn’t get  up at 5 ish.

I’ve started signing up for races, and by signing up, I mean thinking about it, detailing my running related expenses in a budget committee meeting and hoping to get denied so I don’t really have to do it, because if I can blame my finances, which I can’t then I don’t really have to see if I can run a 15 K or a half marathon.  And this is the week that Tony Robbins wasn’t on NBC.  I don’t watch it (yes I do).

Without saying why, people never cease to astound me.  This goes both ways,  good and bad.  The generosity of some people amazes me.  Luckily stupid people are everywhere, so as not to make me too hopeful for humanity.

Well, it’s hard to run seven miles when you are asleep, so I should get to bed so I can wake up and run.

But before I do, this is for Perez and/or Focus – I hate Perez. He’s gay. I’m planning a fake wedding to a girl because we both want Elvis to perform our wedding and our husbands don’t get it.

p.s. That’s a period, not a “because”.  Two separate statements.  #becausesomepeopledontknowenglish

This ain’t my first rodeo.  I’ve been watching poorly dressed men hide behind barrels some twenty years now.  If you don’t get that reference, then, I guess, it IS your first.  So, here are some tips.

Get them ready the night before – Most parenting sites have this tip.  Pick out their clothes the night before.  If you want to be truly awesome, DRESS them the night before.  Why go thru the hassle of a wardrobe change at 7:00 a.m. when you can can completely eliminate it.  This will give the kids five more minutes of sleep, and I think we can all agree how important sleep is.

Feed them.  Or don’t.  I’ve had 24 kids.  Some eat in the morning.  Some don’t.  They all should, you can lead a horse to water and all.  You want to make your morning truly enjoyable (a total living hell) get into a power struggle with a five year old about the amount of milk there is or isn’t in a bowl of Cheerio’s.  #lose #lose

School supplies.  They should have some.  Unsure of what to get?  Things to write with.  Things to write on.  Maybe some glue.  If you feeling particularly self important get a binder.  I’ve discovered that it doesn’t matter what you send that first day, they always come home with a list, or 15 of things that are also needed.  I take advantage of the fact that everyone else is home filling out 72 pages of “who can pick up my kid” type paperwork and go hit the stores after I get the addendum’s. Plus, everything is on sale so I buy two and am prepared for next year. (as far as you know)

Get them to bed at a reasonable time.

Who am I?

God?

Can I perform miracles?  No.  Plus, if they have to fall asleep during math a couple of times to learn that sleep is important, so be it.  If they get left behind, not my problem.  I am quite comfortable with the fact that some kids do need to be left behind, maybe even mine.  Let’s be honest now, someone is holding your kid back, you know it.  Your little Susie is not that stupid.

Pack them a nutritious lunch.  Or if you live in my town, don’t.  I’m still begging Jamie Oliver to come to our town, which is the fattest city in America.  I have a bit of foodie crush on him, and after having been stuck in London during the Volcano thingy earlier this spring, Tech Support may not ever take me back.  Let’s pause a moment while I drool over the bruschetta again.

Expect the worst.  They may not miss you.  You’ll be fine.  Just think about how much cleaning you can get done when they aren’t following behind you squishing blueberries and chocolate into the berber.