annieology

When I was growing up we had Jr. High as opposed to Middle School.  Jr. High started in the seventh grade.  I distinctly remember a time in my life when I COULD NOT WAIT to be a seventh grader.  How cool.  The perks of Jr. High?  Come on.  Wow.  It seemed there could never be anything cooler.  And BONUS we got out 30 minutes before the “little kids”.  Wow.  How badly can one misinterpret reality?

Boog was slighted earlier today.  He and Little Miss Sunshine were playing airplane.   She took it upon herself to assign the duty roster.  “You can drive the plane, I’ll get the drinks.”

“Boys can get drinks too you know.”

No one wanted to be the pilot.  I’m going to spin this as they don’t feel the need to be in a position of power, rather they have a servants heart.  Well, it’s my story that gets told here.

Last week, while on Facebook I got chatted up by a former child of mine.  She wanted to know if she could come and see me.  Since she is still underaged I inquired as to her parents thoughts on the matter.  She emancipated at 17 so I encouraged her to come over whenever she felt like it.

I suppose my thoughts on the matter deserve their very own post.

She’s coming over tonight.

Then I’m going to night two of a women’s conference and let me just ask you this?  Why have we, as women as a whole, not yet gotten it into our pretty little heads that we are AWESOME, SO FREAKING AWESOME, and stop the whining?  Isn’t that the essence of a women’s conference, to tell us how awesome we are?  Apparently this theme sells, but more on that later.

Looking forward to going to church this weekend, corporately speaking.  We have a meeting with the Food Bank next week to finalize paperwork regarding the Back Pack Food Program, probably not in time for Spring Break, but  enough time to work out the kinks before the school year ends and we move from two schools to all of them.  We are doing our neighborhood school, it is not a Title 1 school, the needs here are real,  but overlooked in the evil rich district we live in.  We are also doing a school where it’s estimated that over 90% of the kids will participate.

So, I gots to go scan the horizon for my baby coming home.

Ask Annie goes into day two of my perfect world of foster care as asked by Socialwrkr 24/7.

Yesterday, you’ll remember I would start foster reform by kidnapping potential foster parents.

Today, I would stick all new placements in a shelter.

That’s right.  I said shelter.

My assertion is that going directly from their home to to a foster home is traumatic on all children.  The newly placed foster children.  The children in the foster family, both Born of the Bodies and Born of the Hearts.  Traumatic for the new placements because they are going from TRAUMA of being kidnapped (taken forcibly from parents) to a “loving caring home” where they are the outsider.  It’s like being the new kid at school on steroids.

I think that transitioning them through a shelter would serve many purposes.  First, most kids are familiar with institutional type settings, say for example school.  The other kids would be new to the system as well and in a recovery mode.  This would also serve as a time for workers to find the BEST placement for the kid, not just a bed that happens to be open that night.  It would also allow easy access to medical and psychological care so that the needs of the child can be properly addressed in a timely manner.  I am fortunate to have a great relationship with a pediatrician and can get any of my kids a same day appointment.  However, when it comes to psychiatric care, I’m at the whim of cancellations until my next monthly appointment.

It would also allow time for paperwork on the children to be found or processed.  Because all foster children use Medicaid a facility could process that paperwork and form relationships with the “make it happen fast” people in Medicaid.  (That phrase is why I’m the 16th funniest blogger in the World, thank you very much)

I am not proposing we stick them in a shelter and forget them,  I am saying transition them where ever they are going from the shelter.  I believe every state has a two week hearing of some sort.  All this needs to be sorted out before that hearing if they will be staying in foster care.  It would also allow for family members seeking placement to have access to the children while their home studies are being expedited.

If the kids will not be going home, or not be going to a family member they can be introduced slowly to the world of foster care.  State should pay for beds in foster homes that are not currently occupied, IF and I say it loudly IF the foster families seeking placement are volunteering their time in the shelters.

It would certainly show the commitment level of the foster families.  It would also assure that families are not just filling beds with warm bodies and cashing their checks.

It would introduce the kids to families, it would open the eyes of families to children they have deemed not a good fit for their homes, and it would not be as traumatic for other foster children in the home.

Remember, every time a new kid comes “home” the dynamics of the house change.   It re traumatizes the children who have lived through the experience and makes them question what their place is in the home.  Everyone has to puff up their feathers and quite frankly the first month of a new kid sucks.

If the families are volunteering their time in these shelters they might get a little insight into what they are getting into.  Also, if you have a fire starter there are homes for fire starters, believe it or not.  Every kid deserves to be in the best placement possible, as few placements as possible and for the shortest amount of time possible.  I think that committing to a two week transitional/best case scenario placement is not too much to ask for them.

Should the child return home or to a family member it will not disrupt placements in the foster home because Johnny felt the need to punch someone in the trachea because there is a new kid in the house.

Tune in tomorrow for more.

Socialworker 24/7 asks

:.what is the best and worst thing about foster care? And, what your dream system look like? ”

Oh, you know I stay awake nights thinking about this question.

Best thing?  The people.  The worst.  The other people.

I have met very many lovely people who love this work and are swimming up stream to try to make it a better thing for everyone involved.

I have also met horrible people who run their agencies like a business.  And in business if you aren’t turning a profit you aren’t a good business person.

As far as a perfect system, this will probably take the better part of the week.

The first thing I would do is rock the world of any potential foster parent.  You want to be a foster parent?  Sign this waiver here and hire an attorney before you go to bed tonight.

Seriously.

Then,  I would kidnap them.  (after contacting their attorney and explaining it).  I would show up at their work, or their home and have men with guns escort them into a car.  If they had stuff with them I might not take very good care of it.  I might show up to dinner wearing their clothes.  They would not be allowed to call anyone they know.  They would be fed really weird food.  They would be rooming with one of my more rambunctious children.   They would have to worry if their family knew where they were.  If they were going to have a job when they returned, if someone was feeding their dog.

Because foster parents just don’t get it a lot of the time.  I see it every year that I go through the required classes.   Someone who thinks they are doing the kids a favor.   Someone who thinks that a warm and loving home is their gift to the world.

And it may be.

Eventually.

But not tonight.

No, tonight I am scared.  Worried.  Tired.  I would really prefer if you just left me the hell alone because I want to cry.

And I need you to understand that.

After that boot camp type training I would send them home.  All of their belongings thrown into trash bags.  Even if they had brought a bag with them.  Things get lost you know.

And that would be the first thing I would change.