Several hours pass and we hit up the party store.  Greeted of course by the (why the hell are you bothering my txting with showing up at my job) employee mumbling something about “welcome to Party Universe blah blah blah”  Boog of course tells her we are here to get decorations for his brother’s birthday, that he was five yesterday just like us and now he’s not, asks her if she likes Sushi and then asks her if she has kids.

Yes.  He.  Did.

No.  She didn’t.

“Well then why couldn’t she get to work on time?”  he asked me.

Crap.

“Oh look, streamers.”

We got our Star Wars paraphernalia and headed to Target.

Boog shot off in the direction of the toys at 100 mph while Little Miss Sunshine strolled at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  We past the make up aisle and the girl asked me why they didn’t make a lipstick that lasted longer than a “Spongebob” (our standard measure of time for 15 minutes) while commiserating with her I heard the walkies  going on about a lost boy and “does he know his mommy’s name”.  Urging the girl to walk a little faster, figuring I was said mommy, we round the corner to find Boog standing in a hazmat zone having puked the length of the Lego aisle.

“He’s mine, thanks.” (you totally know that puke is not my domain inside a Target store right?  I am the mayor after all.)  And I hurried out of there with my ill child, at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  All while dodging two calls from CPS and the therapist, plus the knowing eyes of those with walkies judging me for not being more active in vomit clean up.

“Hey, I saw that look.  I’m the mayor around these parts, I totally have no power over you.”

Other than that it was a gorgeous day here in north Mexico.  Mid 70s and if Tech Support had the time to windsurf anymore, it would have been a great day to do so.  I feel the outdoor pool is within our grasp here shortly, (pending results of the skin cancer biopsy and a ton of SPF).

We ate cupcakes decorated like dogs and petit fours.   After of course a dinner of pork tenderloin and spinach.  (Felpsy’s choice)

Then we hunted for presents.  I would excuse my not wrapping birthday gifts as the “green” alternative buy you know that’s a bunch of bull.  But I don’t wrap birthday presents.  We scavenger hunt for them.  This year I let the twins give their own clues as to where they had hidden their gifts.  There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Finally it was revealed that they were “on my bed”.   When it got to be my turn I told him mine was hidden “not on top of my bed” to which a major fit was thrown.   “Fine it’s under my bed.”  Happiness.

Then a big fight where someone may or may not have ended up with a gaping head wound.

Blood.  Tears.  Timeouts. Chocolate.  Awesomeness.

Radical asked for a total of five things this year.  All totaled equal less than the budgeted amount.  YAY!  I guess the extended nursing paid off, as he is the most agreeable child in the world.  Hoping that doesn’t come back to bite us.  He’s ten so I didn’t really expect him to ask for a car, although that would not be unheard of with others who have spent time in our home.

Big Boy will be so surprised when his entire wish list from a certain website is in his box.  Yes, I am being sarcastic.  He is his mothers child.  I think he even did the shopping part of it, but it’s what he wanted, and when they are teens you go with what works.  I’m still banking on the fact that he will be at least a bit surprised as to our little holiday.  Holiday as in European for vacation, not that the actual date on the calendar being a holiday is a surprise.

The littles will get their Leapsters.  And I CANNOT wait.  They are driving me crazy with the one shared Gameboy.  Yes, there WERE three at one time.  But those things are 5 years old, and in terms of technology, extinct.  I played with one of the Leapsters the other day, just to make sure we were on target for interest.  Spot on.  I even had to force myself to put it down, I’m obsessive with technology, even when it’s for four year olds.

What?  Are the littles four or five?  You keep changing it.

I know.  I apologize.  Felpsy is five, the twins are almost five….I’m easing into having THREE five year old children.  We officially are out of the baby department at Target. Full on “Boys Department”, the Princess has been in the girls department for awhile.  But Boog was my lone hold out.

I found the most hilarious gag gift for Dagan.  But will not say anything as she has been known to stop by.

The only thing I have left to do is find six boxes that are big enough to hold what I’ve purchased for each of the kids.  They will be getting ONE present, (plus a ski vacation – so shut up).  They will also be getting gifts from grandparents, each other, CPS and our agency, at the very least, times all of that by six and you have quite a pile.

Although, this year the grandparents are pooling their money at our request to outfit us with Wii stuff.  Extra controllers, multi-player games, accessories that make it more fun like steering wheels and what not.  We should be set up when all is said and done.

We are not doing Santa this year.

My fantasy Christmas has always been no Santa, one REALLY cool gift per kid and the extended family getting a family gift.  Looks like I will get it this year.  It’s not that I am anti stuff.  I love stuff.  It’s just that Christmas is looking a lot like the lottery these days.  Write down your every whim and voila, there it is.  Ten minutes later there is nothing but a pile of trash and too many things for their small brains to process.  System overload and by the time the New Year rolls around, nothing is left but a big old overload hangover.

I would much rather get ONE thing for them that they enjoy for the entire year.  I would rather the extended family have their monies go to something for everyone to do together.  I don’t remember but three gifts from Christmas’ past.  Maybe, just maybe my kids will remember.  If not, I will blind side them with a snowball and try again next year.