annieology

I am blessed with brilliant children, and by blessed I mean “gotta stay on my toes”.  Yesterday Felpsy turned six.  As you know, Boog was ready to dec-o-rate.  He woke up at the crack of early asking to go to the party store.   I told him the store didn’t open for a long time, but we would go.  After 487 questions about when they opened, why they weren’t opened, blah blah blah, I told him the people who worked at the party store had to get their kids ready for school and then had to go home and get ready for work, so they wouldn’t be there until about the time I was ready.  Yes, I know I shouldn’t lie, don’t worry, I paid for it.

Several hours pass and we hit up the party store.  Greeted of course by the (why the hell are you bothering my txting with showing up at my job) employee mumbling something about “welcome to Party Universe blah blah blah”  Boog of course tells her we are here to get decorations for his brother’s birthday, that he was five yesterday just like us and now he’s not, asks her if she likes Sushi and then asks her if she has kids.

Yes.  He.  Did.

No.  She didn’t.

“Well then why couldn’t she get to work on time?”  he asked me.

Crap.

“Oh look, streamers.”

We got our Star Wars paraphernalia and headed to Target.

Boog shot off in the direction of the toys at 100 mph while Little Miss Sunshine strolled at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  We past the make up aisle and the girl asked me why they didn’t make a lipstick that lasted longer than a “Spongebob” (our standard measure of time for 15 minutes) while commiserating with her I heard the walkies  going on about a lost boy and “does he know his mommy’s name”.  Urging the girl to walk a little faster, figuring I was said mommy, we round the corner to find Boog standing in a hazmat zone having puked the length of the Lego aisle.

“He’s mine, thanks.” (you totally know that puke is not my domain inside a Target store right?  I am the mayor after all.)  And I hurried out of there with my ill child, at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  All while dodging two calls from CPS and the therapist, plus the knowing eyes of those with walkies judging me for not being more active in vomit clean up.

“Hey, I saw that look.  I’m the mayor around these parts, I totally have no power over you.”

Other than that it was a gorgeous day here in north Mexico.  Mid 70s and if Tech Support had the time to windsurf anymore, it would have been a great day to do so.  I feel the outdoor pool is within our grasp here shortly, (pending results of the skin cancer biopsy and a ton of SPF).

We ate cupcakes decorated like dogs and petit fours.   After of course a dinner of pork tenderloin and spinach.  (Felpsy’s choice)

Then we hunted for presents.  I would excuse my not wrapping birthday gifts as the “green” alternative buy you know that’s a bunch of bull.  But I don’t wrap birthday presents.  We scavenger hunt for them.  This year I let the twins give their own clues as to where they had hidden their gifts.  There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Finally it was revealed that they were “on my bed”.   When it got to be my turn I told him mine was hidden “not on top of my bed” to which a major fit was thrown.   “Fine it’s under my bed.”  Happiness.

Then a big fight where someone may or may not have ended up with a gaping head wound.

Blood.  Tears.  Timeouts. Chocolate.  Awesomeness.

I no longer have three 5 year olds.  We are down to two.

Felpsy missed being a Leap Day baby by moments, or so I’m told since I have no official record of his birth.

Here he is showing off his killer smile.

I hope it wasn’t really the worst birthday ever.

love you baby doll.

Princess was in the shower this morning.  She has hair that needs to be washed and styled on a daily basis.  I will give you an example, now this is not a judgment, rather an observation.

Medusa was modeled after my Princess.

It’s snakes with a rats nest or twelve weaved in.

So, we shower in the morning to try to mitigate some of that.

Somewhere in between the wash cycle and the condition cycle she screamed at me….

“You got me wet with water.”

Well, baby, you can’t argue with that.