Her daughter called after realizing she was gone.  It had taken half an hour.  Daughter was grilling her mother about when she was going to be home.  Which had not been determined at that point.  Daughter did not appreciate the answer that mom would be home when mom got home.  Daughter needed to go to Walmart and had to get ready.  We totally did not have a chuckle about the daughter needing to know what time mom was going to be home because she had to get ready….to go to Walmart.

I filled in the pieces of my life that had occurred since the last time we’d gotten together.  Oh yes, she reads the blog, but there are some things that I don’t share here.  See you should totally be my friend in real life.

She filled me in on the swine flu that is wreaking havoc throughout her family.  And other things that are her things that are weird and I’m totally going to try to steal when I write my book, because some seriously weird things have happened to her recently.

An hour in we felt recharged and ready to once again face our reality and return to our homes.  Of course we didn’t give the daughter the heads up.  She was just going to have to go to Walmart without getting ready.

Just like everybody else.

That’s right, I have heard Obama say that Roosevelt was accused of being a Socialist when he wanted national Social Security.    You know our forefathers who fought against Social Security hated old people.  We are living 70 years into that future, and I think we can all agree that Social Security is indeed a blessing to our grandparents, parents, and God help me if I’m not excited about the possibility of getting it in the future.  I think of it like playing the lottery.  I put money in and should someday I get money out, it’ll be free money.  Except I don’t play the lottery.  Bad odds and all.

Also?  Social Security is broke.  We as a nation have resolved ourselves to the probability that it won’t be there when we need it.

Those who don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it.  Health Care may work for this generation.  Maybe.  But what does it look like in 70 years.  Social Security?  Worse?  I don’t know.

That wasn’t my concern tonight.

Tonight, I was needed elsewhere.

Shanda made cake.

And God wanted me there to eat it.

Now there were other things that needed to be done, like talk to people about adoption, and sign up to do event planning.  Oh and adopt my Canadian friend so we can go on The Amazing Race and wear our annieology tees.  Actual important things that will make my life better.  Plus my Canadian friend is a nurse and when I’m her mama I can make her fix me as part of her chores.  Whatever, it’s my blog, I can make my fake adopted non kid from Canada do anything I want.

I won’t need to worry about social security, I have six kids,  seven if you count Canada.  So they have to take care of me when I get old because I do not feel very secure with the “public option” on my retirement.   I’m writing that into the adoption plan.

Wednesday night was God’s way of telling me that I don’t need to concern myself with all that is happening in Washington.  He’s in charge everywhere.  Even there.  What is going to make a real difference in my life is spending time with real people.   With friends that I love.  Helping people who are actually hurting right now.

What do I care about health care anymore?  I’m adopting a nurse.

Yes, THIS is the day that God chose to grace the planet with my presence.  Put me here for such a time as this.  Had I been born five hours later, I’d have gotten my childhood wish and my birthstone would have been sapphire as opposed to peridot.  Yet, he knew that peridot would go with my eyes which is super cool.  Five hours made the difference between graduating in the 80s as opposed to the 90s.  Five hours was the difference between the life I have and a whole different one.

Now, the parents on the other hand were expecting a September baby.  Which is why I was born at home, not on purpose, and if my brother’s recollection of events holds true, it was under a bed.  I kinda doubt the recollections of a three year old, but can tell you that my entrance of into the world was an appropriate foreshadowing of my life.  I am a presence to be reckoned with, could pretty much give a crap about how that affects those around me.

Growing up I hated my birthday.  Smack dab in the middle of two horrible weekends.  The last weekend of summer and Labor Day.  My friends were always obligated to spend those weekends with their families, enjoying one last hurrah before the school year.  It pretty much sucked.

So, this past weekend I attempted to undo that wrong.  I had myself a slumber party with my nearest and dearest.  (my apologies to my neighbors) We had way too much fun.   We had the party at a hotel because really, who wants to party in my messy house with many small children?  Nobody, that’s who.  So, hotel it was.

Since I was spending the night, I packed myself an overnight bag.  I don’t know if it was my excitement on getting away for the weekend or my oldish mind, but I forgot ALL of the very important things.  Usually, my biggest fear is forgetting my contacts, contacts supplies or my glasses.  My mind hasn’t caught up with technology and I keep forgetting I can see.  (Thank you LASIK) But I forgot my tooth brush, tooth paste, hair brush.  Oh and floss, I forgot to bring floss.  It’s like I’d never spent the night away anywhere, ever before.

Luckily, I was not the only one.  Another party goer brought three bras and no undies.  So, I hear.

Of course we started with cake  -  then on to the gifts.  Then on to the food.  More cake.  More food.  And fun.  I cannot remember the last time I laughed so hard.  Turns out my friends are funny.  And apparently we were the only guests in the whole place, because not one complaint.  Don’t even say we weren’t partying enough.  We were up and LOUD until 4:30 in the morning.

Do you want to see what my great friends got me?

Yes, my t-shirt design dilemma is solved.  Let me know if you want one.  I’m placing my first order soon.  Let me know what size/color you want.  Specify if you want girl cut.  Colored shirts will be printed white.  White and gray shirts will be colored navy.  Order now!  As long as I can get 20 orders I can sell them for $12 plus s&h.  I can’t get Billy Mays to yell at you but Order now!

Also too, if you didn’t get me anything, you can go be a fan on Facebook.

I know, who the hell do I think I am?

I love coming home and finding out who has been checking up on me while I’m out.

Hello http://organisingtips.blogspot.com – were you using me as the anti-example?  Whatever the reason, I’m glad you stopped by.

What was I doing out with real people?

It was a church thing where we went to some body’s house and ate lots of good food and hung out and locked the kids in the backyard with a pool (that was being monitored by a lifeguard at all times) and not a trampoline.

I may have a lead on a Spanish Rice recipe.  I’ll keep you posted.

And we talked about God.  And marriage.

I love my marriage.  I love my husband.  I love my God.

And I met someone who was very interested in my worms, and has a housekeeper.  We’re destined to be besties.  Although that may be relationship step jumping.  Assuming we’ll be besties.  But did I mention, she has a pool (that is constantly monitored by a lifeguard) and not a trampoline?   And she likes my worms.   And lives next door to my other bestie?

On the way home the Princess played the “if you really loved me card”.   I sense trouble on the horizon with that young one.  She wanted a glow bracelet when we got home.  I told her she was going to bed.  She said “I thought you loved me”.   Well, I did.

If she only knew the havoc that has been wreaked by our love for her.

And I’ve been up 18 hours.  Hubby snuck out of the house this morning before 6:00 a.m. to go to Bible study.  The boys heard.  They woke up their sister.  They were trying to figure out the tv.  Then they started yelling at each other to “shut up or you’ll wake up mom”.

Isn’t it ironic?  Doncha think?

I know, I’m still here.  Have to finish my Coke.  Yes, I drink Coke at midnight.

Now, I’m done.  Good night, or good morning or good afternoon.

Because there may still be some outstanding warrants on the pair of us (just kidding, kind of) I will dub her Sadie, cuz it’s sexy and wild like she is.  (and she picked it, and it’s perfect).

I met Sadie at church.  I don’t recall how we became super besties, but we did.   There were very few times when we were together where I wasn’t in danger of wetting myself.  We always roomed together on our getaways, and probably drove our poor hosts insane with our constant giggling and inside jokes.  Things were great with us, and luckily we had different taste in boys.  My taste in boys being her brother and I think she went to prom with my brother, but those are stories for a different day.

But for the first time in years, I cannot wait to go home.

Did you watch House last night? The cure was chocolate cake. Of course the girl couldn’t deal with the side effects of the drug of chocolate cake. Fatness. I’d be fat and healthy. Is that possible?

I don’t think that chocolate cake is my cure.

I don’t think Nyquil cures anything either. But it is indeed the finest thing about being sick. I may become a hypochondriac just so I can take some every once in awhile.

That people, is why I never did drugs. I would be such a crack head.

Speaking of which, I had a dream last night that there were only 34 Burger King’s in the world. 34? Where did I get this from?

Probably the same place my other dream came from. I dreamt that Monica Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton were on The View having a cook off. But my dream didn’t focus on the cooking or the scandal, or the fact that Hillary is not out Secretary of Stating, but rather, what shoes everyone was wearing.

Really, that’s why I never had to do drugs. My mind is such a fun place without any help.

Speaking of fun. My high school bff recently found me on Facebook. We had lots of fun until we got into a fight over a boy. A really stupid boy. A boy that eventually ran off with my brother. But not in a gay way. They just moved to Atlanta together because they were in a band, and all the world knows that Atlanta is the place to move if you want to be in a band, and go to Georgia Tech all at the same time. For the record, the name of the band was Firestorm and for the longest time, every noun in our house was labeled with the adjective of “fire”… For example my mother’s Suburban was the “Fireburbon” and we had a “fire couch” and all sorts of “fire stuff”. The only one that really stuck was “fire wood” which we’d all laugh hysterically at in a mocking sort of way.

Before my bff and I broke up, we did many fun things together. Like what? Well we once spent a week in Indianapolis seeking autographs from unfamous people. (Boys) It was a whole lot of fun. I only remember three autographs, one was from a guy named Dan Mann, the other two were from Mario and Michael, and since it is Indianapolis you are probably asking the same question we did…”Andretti?” No, Puccinelli. But I still remember this 20 some years later. Lots of fun we had, her and I.

I would tell you more, but I’m off to fork over my life savings to the laser people and go over the “informed consent” where they once again remind me that my cornea could fall on the floor and become useless. I guess I shouldn’t have had breakfast…..

Have a blessed day.

I had no idea she was sick.  I had no idea the extent of her illness.

Since I’ve known her I’ve been embroiled in this foster care thing.  She would call me occasionally to see if there was something she could pray about for me.  I appreciated that.  I would email or call her when things came up.  She was never much more or less than fine.  She portrayed whatever illness she had as little more than the level of a cold.  She never had a prayer request for herself.

Then she died.  She was young, too young to die.  We were all shocked to hear it.  I was hurt that she hadn’t shared with us the seriousness of her illness. I was, and still am a little pissed off that she never reached out to me, or any of her other friends.  Any of us would have stopped and prayed for her at any time.  If we truly believe that God can intervene when we pray, then I must conclude that had she done that, she might still be alive.

Her kids still need her.  Her daughter is currently going down the checklist of “Most Stressful Events in Your Life”.  Her daughter needs her mommy.

What angers me most, when I think of her, is that I guess we weren’t really friends.  We were acquaintances who were privy to each others stats.  It makes me want to be more genuine.  Maybe next time you ask how I am I won’t say fine.

I do like socializing, and there are other drinks available at most coffee shops, so I will usually go just for fun. About two years ago, there began an alarming trend in one circle.

She “Coffee today?”

Me “sure, where?”

She “not sure, coffee shop by mall?”

Me “sure, time?”

She “never mind, so and so can’t make it”

Excuse me???? Did you just uninvite me to coffee? After that I always waited until the second text to get involved. Saving myself from the pain and humiliation of being uninvited to an event that I don’t terribly enjoy in the first place.

I will let you know that I am always game for going out. I mean really, unless I’m solving crime or curing cancer, what could be more important to making a friend? As long as it doesn’t interfere too severely in my family life, I will try to hang with the girls if presented the opportunity.

Several months ago, the universe ramped it up a notch. I got an Evite to a lunch. I RSVP’d in the affirmative. A week later a follow up was received. I again RSVP’d in the affirmative. Then an email. YES, I’M COMING TO LUNCH. By my count, that is five exchanges. I even turned down another invite as invite B interfered with invite A. Then, the regrets email. Invite A could not attend our 5 email confirmed lunch because it conflicted with invite B. Invite B was issued at least a week after invite A. What happened to, “sorry invite B, I cannot attend, I HAVE PLANS.” It officially became what my A tier friends and I refer to as the “Buffer Lunch”.

This morning, waiting in my in box was another invite to a Buffer Lunch. I am legitamately busy that day. Do you think they will change their plans because I cannot attend? I wonder if I am anyone’s buffer. I doubt it.

I did some forensic accounting of my A tier friends and came up with questions that they have asked me at one point in our relationship. Maybe if you know the answers before hand, we can skip over the awkward get to know me stage. I realize I must be terribly intimidating.

1. Yes, these are my real boobs. They have not been surgically altered. I do not have access to the super padded bra, just good genes.

2. No, I have never liked coffee. I like Coke.

3. We do not discuss my “foster” children. They realize that if we had gotten the go ahead to adopt them, they would know. Trust me, you will all know.

So, apparently what is getting in the way of me making new, non buffer friends, are my boobs. I have been asked about them during Bible study, at a funeral, and of course anywhere that a bathing suit is the required attire.

I kid of course. It is quite tempting to take a buffer with me everywhere, that way I don’t have to put myself out there. I know there is at least one person there that I can talk to, but then how would I expand my circle of friends? I need enough A tiers to fill up my empty speed dial numbers. The only way to do that is that make more friends, which I cannot do if I don’t have to talk to new people. I have to forego the buffer. If you require one, please confirm with the buffer before you extend the invite to me.

So, I met my friend for lunch. She updated me on her family news, and how she liked her new town. We bitched a bit about how horrible foster care is. She was a licensed foster parent for awhile, trying to adopt, yet never ever got a call. This would be sad if it were unique here in our town, but it’s not. There are several families in our church who jumped through all of the foster care hoops with the intention of adopting a child in need of a home. No calls. So they abandoned their hope of adopting from foster care and went to international.

Please don’t ask people who are adopting internationally why they don’t get a kid here. Yes, there are a million kids in need of a home in this country. But since the government is in charge of it all, it’s a broken and awful system that DOES NOT WORK. Unless you are willing to play the game, for an extended period of time, it’s not a fun process. Luckily I had a good caseworker who explained to me that this is how it is and this is how it goes, otherwise I would have given up quite quickly.

Anyway, so we had lunch. It of course was AWESOME. A good chat. Fun times. Then I had another friend come over to help me out with a project. Fun times.

But, my list still sits there. All sorts of things on that list. Just waiting for me. I think I might get it done today…..