annieology

I am blessed with brilliant children, and by blessed I mean “gotta stay on my toes”.  Yesterday Felpsy turned six.  As you know, Boog was ready to dec-o-rate.  He woke up at the crack of early asking to go to the party store.   I told him the store didn’t open for a long time, but we would go.  After 487 questions about when they opened, why they weren’t opened, blah blah blah, I told him the people who worked at the party store had to get their kids ready for school and then had to go home and get ready for work, so they wouldn’t be there until about the time I was ready.  Yes, I know I shouldn’t lie, don’t worry, I paid for it.

Several hours pass and we hit up the party store.  Greeted of course by the (why the hell are you bothering my txting with showing up at my job) employee mumbling something about “welcome to Party Universe blah blah blah”  Boog of course tells her we are here to get decorations for his brother’s birthday, that he was five yesterday just like us and now he’s not, asks her if she likes Sushi and then asks her if she has kids.

Yes.  He.  Did.

No.  She didn’t.

“Well then why couldn’t she get to work on time?”  he asked me.

Crap.

“Oh look, streamers.”

We got our Star Wars paraphernalia and headed to Target.

Boog shot off in the direction of the toys at 100 mph while Little Miss Sunshine strolled at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  We past the make up aisle and the girl asked me why they didn’t make a lipstick that lasted longer than a “Spongebob” (our standard measure of time for 15 minutes) while commiserating with her I heard the walkies  going on about a lost boy and “does he know his mommy’s name”.  Urging the girl to walk a little faster, figuring I was said mommy, we round the corner to find Boog standing in a hazmat zone having puked the length of the Lego aisle.

“He’s mine, thanks.” (you totally know that puke is not my domain inside a Target store right?  I am the mayor after all.)  And I hurried out of there with my ill child, at the breakneck speed of a Hoveround.  All while dodging two calls from CPS and the therapist, plus the knowing eyes of those with walkies judging me for not being more active in vomit clean up.

“Hey, I saw that look.  I’m the mayor around these parts, I totally have no power over you.”

Other than that it was a gorgeous day here in north Mexico.  Mid 70s and if Tech Support had the time to windsurf anymore, it would have been a great day to do so.  I feel the outdoor pool is within our grasp here shortly, (pending results of the skin cancer biopsy and a ton of SPF).

We ate cupcakes decorated like dogs and petit fours.   After of course a dinner of pork tenderloin and spinach.  (Felpsy’s choice)

Then we hunted for presents.  I would excuse my not wrapping birthday gifts as the “green” alternative buy you know that’s a bunch of bull.  But I don’t wrap birthday presents.  We scavenger hunt for them.  This year I let the twins give their own clues as to where they had hidden their gifts.  There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.  Finally it was revealed that they were “on my bed”.   When it got to be my turn I told him mine was hidden “not on top of my bed” to which a major fit was thrown.   “Fine it’s under my bed.”  Happiness.

Then a big fight where someone may or may not have ended up with a gaping head wound.

Blood.  Tears.  Timeouts. Chocolate.  Awesomeness.

Santa did not come this year.

No one even noticed.

Santa got zero credit for all of the awesomeness.

We got up without any stress from the imaginary being.

We ate our free breakfast, we hung out, the kids played in the snow.   I cooked, because I stay at the Residence Inn, and they have a full kitchen, and thanks to a grocery store for delivering it to us.  (I did not get all that I ordered, but neither did I get a bill.  I will decide whether or not they get a favorable mention when I see how much they charged me).

So….

we just hung out

it was perfect.

Each of the kids bought each of their siblings a Christmas gift, which I had lovingly packed in a checked bag.  Yes, just one thing to each from each ended up taking an entire checked bag.  We started out with Boog wrapping each of his gifts to the others, then worked our way up.  By the time I got to helping the Princess out, I was like “screw it” wrapping sucks.  Thank God for gift bags.

Since nothing was opened we were forced to hang out with each other (and by we I mean, them with me) and play the Wii.  Which if you are watching people play the Wii, is entertainment in itself.

By noon we were doing our own thing, and by that I mean the kids were ignoring me and I was wishing a Merry Christmas to my bff Sadie.

We had a marathon playdate with the snow and I’m sure all of Colorado was laughing at us Texans in full ski gear playing in the snow in the parking lot.  But whatev.  The kids had a blast and came back exhausted.  I became the meat in a nap sandwich involving a couple of littles, it was truly the best Christmas ever.

This would be our last night in this location.  The following morning we were getting up early and taking a train up to the  mountains.

And there was one more surprise for the kids.

(Me.  Tech Support and the many small , not to be photo’d, children inferred.)

So, because I am highly unorganized and very frugal (cheap) this is your card.

2009 has been the year of annieology.  After a year or two of multiple blogs, they all consolidated here.   Being honored with the 16th Funniest Blog in the known universe.  Having people beg (ask) me to put ads on my site.  Actually getting paid, some money.

2009 also marked my refusal to go into the deep dark world known as stereotypical American woman.  Always doing for others and letting my own wants and needs remain unmet.  Possibly a mid-life crisis, yet I have yet to secure the convertible and have no need for a personal assistant.

In June I got LASIK.  Love it, can’t believe I waited.  It’s a freakin’ miracle is what it is.

In August, Tech Support insisted I quit pretending that I am domestic and I hired a housekeeper.  Hello?  Why didn’t I do this sooner?  We have finally gotten into a rhythm and she basically folds laundry and mops, but what a blessing she has been.

2009 also marked the year I stopped doing things I didn’t want to do.  Evidenced by the Christmas tree above.  My entire life we had access to a forest.  Many years we endured the tree hunt.  Eventually buying a fake.  After moving to the City by the Sea (that is nowhere near a forest) the Awesomes bought a fake.  I would have loved to fill it with ornamental heirlooms, and become the poster child for Hallmark yet instead of Keepsakes, I filled my home with RADs.  Ornaments lovingly made by the many small children were destroyed to remind themselves they didn’t really belong here.  Last year it culminated with our tree lights being removed by a four year old while we slept, taken outside and thrown over the fence. So, this year?

No tree for you!

We got rid of the duct taped fake and bought a tree shaped lighting display.  Usually meant for outside, but this year, it’s smack dab in the middle of our living room.   Two of them actually.  There are no ornaments to be broken.  I love it.  I did not want to fight another year to keep “things” on a tree.  Best of all, it took twelve seconds to set them both up.  One day, if we live near a forest, I will force my children on a death march for the perfect tree, until then?  A tree shape will have to do.

2009 also remained the same.

We are still, fostering.  We have tried diligently and spent much money to get out of it.  We are hoping that 2010 is our year.  (that statement has secured my top ten finish in Funniest Blog 2010).

Things change.  Things stay the same.

We are looking forward to moving somewhere in 2010.  Starting to find God in a different way.  Becoming closer everyday to the people we were intended to be.

Many blessing to you and yours.

Merry Christmas!