annieology

Target, the guy at the food counter.  May need a shower, and by may I mean tell the dude to shower before he comes back.  I no buy your food until the guy handling it stops dripping.

Sorry for that image.

Walgreen’s.  Don’t call me and tell me that I have a prescription waiting for my puker, make me put many small children in the car, drive over there and then tell me that you are still waiting for authorization on one of the meds, but I can pay for it outside of insurance if I’d like.  NO.  Get everything ready and THEN call.

Attorney.  When I call for legal advice, don’t pass me to the paralegal who CANNOT give legal advice.  I don’t want to pay to talk to her, pay to have her talk to you and then end up talking to you anyway for clarification.  NO.  When I call for legal advice, YOU call me back directly.

Google Maps.  I know you have many millions of people feeding you information.  I have come to rely on your accurate maps and what not.  Yesterday while looking for a restaurant I ended up in a vacant lot.  Not only was that lot vacant, but so were the surrounding 100 acres.  The second restaurant ended up being a trailer park.  Ultimate #FAIL on your part Google maps.

Now to give you an example on how to run your business, take Quizno’s  for example.  Having failed at two previous attempts of finding a restaurant, we ended up there.  Thank you for realizing that our ten year old, while too old for a kids meal, still might want to color and giving him the kids pack insert.  Awesome.

Also, our martial arts studio.  They have on several occasions offered free day camp to our many small children on days when school is not in session.  We have several family members enrolled in the school, but they don’t have to give us free camp.  But they are caring for us and our orphans and we truly, truly appreciate it.

That’s my dog.  Or at least he was  for 43 seconds back in 1997.   He was my birthday present from Tech Support that year.  I named him Bailey.   That was the extent of our relationship.  Bailey fell head over heels in love with Tech Support.

I became the opposition.

When Daddy Awesome would leave.  Bailey would wait by the door and stare at me.  Willing me to open the door and let his master back inside.  He never seemed to understand that I had not locked Tech Support in the garage.

Despite his quirks he was a good dog. And by quirks, I mean his disdain for me.  That and the dog would never sleep on the floor.  He would pull blankets off of beds, or cushions off the couch, but would not lay himself down on the floor.

This morning I took him to the vet.

He didn’t come back with me.

He was deaf.  Blind.  Dumb.  Really dumb.  He had epilepsy.  It was a toss up whether his legs would work, and you could pretty much guarantee a puddle of pee somewhere in the house several times a day as he’d lost control of his body.  He would get confused and not recognize us and would snap at us in those moments.   When Daddy Awesome was not in the house, he would howl the entire time he was gone.  If I tried to comfort him he’d let me know that in no uncertain terms was I to come anywhere near him.

We’ve been avoiding the decision for months now.  But this morning Tech Support came to tell me he’d made arrangements and asked me to drive him to the vet.   He couldn’t do it, and I knew it.  I also couldn’t NOT do it, knowing how my husband had agonized over this decision, I couldn’t go “but I don’t want to drive him.”

So, I did.

Bailey was the perfect dog this morning.

Loved the car ride.  No anxiety.

For the first time ever, EVER,  he walked on the leash for me.  I did not have to drag him.   He did not drag me.  Just a nice peaceful pace.   Even after we got done with a sniffing session, that I felt I owed him, he did not hesitate to walk into the vets office.

Luckily they knew who I was and I didn’t have to say a word.  Because I couldn’t.  I couldn’t even look at the receptionist.   I took one look at her and lost it.  Big snotty crying ensued.   She showed me to the room, and Bailey his under the bench and I cried.

People would come and go with paper work and then she brought in a muzzle.  Deciding that we should sedate him while he was wearing it, because the only thing that could make this worse was for him to bite someone and have to be quarantined for ten days.

He let me put him on it, with very little coaxing.  Which made it worse.  I have not even been able to pet him or brush him or come near him in a very long time and there he was all “whispered” and calm.

They gave him an intramuscular shot to calm him down.

It did not.

After awhile they came in and gave him an IV shot which did the trick.

He was still alive.  But “Elvis had left the building’.

The vet said I could go if I wished.  Bailey had no clue whether I was there or not.

I stayed.

and I cried.

Ugly cry cried.

I didn’t want him to die with strangers, whether he knew it or not.

And just like that he was dead.

And I miss him.

The house seems so empty without him.

Like when Dagan left for college.  When she had lived here she was hardly here, but when she didn’t live here, it seemed weird. Still does.  But it’s getting better.  I’m sure this will too.

Grief is exhausting.

I miss you, you stupid dog.

It is Saturday after all, and only my nearest and dearest visit me here on Saturday.  Plus, my new super computer came and I spent lots of money on extra processing speed and what not.  Yet, when I “start recording” the screen freezes, occasionally blips and does not record sound.  Not the recipe for a decent vlog.

So, blah blah blah.

I even have a map a stickers, I was going to do a vlog explaining the big move.  I was going to be all weather girly and it would have been awesome.

All in all, I’m fairly disappointed with the new super computer.  It locks up regularly, cycles screens periodically. I spent extra money to get more, more, more.  I got the most in every category.  Still slow.  It’s not like you can’t make it small and fast.  My phone is faster.   Luckily it came in a rubberized case so when i get super frustrated, I can throw it.  Maybe if I throw it at my dog who has been barking for 45 minutes because Daddy Awesome is gone I can alleviate two of my problems.