The moment it was revealed that we had went to eat at Jamie Oliver’s restaurant in London, Jamie’s Italian, He Chef started asking for details.

Why?  Because he’s awesome at his job, and wants to make sure everyone loves their Wolfgang Puck experience.

That being said, the only thing these two “brands” if you will have in common, is the name recognition.

First, I have mostly had Wolfgang Puck in Las Vegas.  Only had Jamie Oliver in London.  Vegas and London are two entirely different worlds.

Also,

when I go to Wolfgang Puck, they know I belong in some way, shape or form to He Chef.  Know that I am going to be informing on them.   My kids could play in the fountain and throw rocks at guests and it would be “all good”.

OK they weren’t that bad, but close.

First,  Jamie’s Italian.   The bruschetta was the best EVER.  I still dream of it, and will for awhile.  I regret not taking advantage of a free hour and going back for more.  It will be the first thing I do next time I’m in London.

We went on a Saturday over to the Canary Wharf location, only a couple of blocks from the Canary Wharf Tube.  It is located in an area where there are a lot of offices.  Despite the area being sleepy on a Saturday afternoon, Jamie’s was hopping busy.  The staff was wonderful.  After the bruschetta, the rest of the food was good, probably the best I had in London, but it wasn’t “omgoodness I’m going to die” like the bruschetta was.  Yes, I’m stuck on the bruschetta, it was that good.

as opposed to Wolfgang Puck.  Where everything that I put in my mouth makes me want to die immediately because nothing, ever will be as good as that moment.  Wasabi mashed potatoes.  Creamed corn.  I usually defer to whatever they bring me.  Last time I was in Vegas, I ate at Lupo’s in Mandalay Bay.  I had Kobe beef with a black truffle something, so yum.  They insisted on bringing dessert.  I don’t even know what it was, a ricotta/berry something.  Again, it was Vegas and I almost married it.

I would say you couldn’t go wrong with either choice.  I know that if I am ever near a restaurant operated by either Jamie Oliver or Wolfgang Puck, you’ll find me there.

Excited for the adventure.  To see my husband.  To get away from the kids.

It was not until a couple hours after arriving that my body realized we should still be sleeping.

I went back to my hotel and took a bit of a nap.  I didn’t want to sleep too much.  Although, I don’t recall what we did that night.  I know we walked around for a bit, but remember Skype-ing home to the kids and seeing my tired self on video and wishing for a Jane Jetson video phone face.

That night, I had trouble falling asleep, and the first morning I slept til almost noon.

I spent four nights there.  I wasn’t particularly tired during any of the trip, except that first 24 hours.  It did surprise me that despite being six hours earlier, I woke up earlier than I did at home.  It might have something to do with the difference in latitude and the sun coming up so much earlier.   It also might have something to do with the fact that I haven’t had a decent nights sleep since the twins arrived five years ago.  Or just trying to see as much of London as I could in four days.

Before I left for the trip, I did try to get to bed as early as possible #FAIL and I did get up quite early the few days preceding my trip.

When I returned I had read that I should wear sunglasses in the morning and then stay up until normal bedtime.  That and about an hour nap on the plane seemed to work fine.  It was sunny when I arrived home and I did quite well until it got dark.  I did stay up until 10 that night telling my kids and mom-in-law about my adventures.

The day after I returned home I struggled to stay awake in the late afternoon, but that is normal for me.

Now, I’m suspecting that this was maybe a newbie reaction to travel.  I will probably be all cocky and think that jet lag is a bunch of bologna sandwich only to get my ass handed to me in the future.

I’m keeping it in mind.

My husband, who had arrived several days earlier for business had purchased an “Oyster card” for me.  No, I don’t know why they call it an oyster card, they just do.  He had sought advice from  his local co-workers and bought me a week pass for zones 1 and 2.  This allowed me to take a Tube or bus anywhere in those zones.  It was 28 pounds for the week, which at the time translated into about $42 U.S.

We took the bus from Paddington to our hotel.  Which, and I was warned, was small.  There was a double bed pushed up to the wall and two small nightstands next to it.  There was not enough room between the bed and the wall for even a twin sized mattress.  My husbands big suitcase stood upright at the end of the bed, it touched the wall and the bed.  Behind that wall was a bathroom where I could touch all walls by standing in the middle.

I say those things only for information.  It was a lovely room.  It didn’t need to be any more than it was.

After we got me settled, we took the Tube into the city where my husband was working.  My first “dumb American” eye roll came from security at the office.  He asked for my “surname” and both my husband and I thought he’d said “sign in” – we didn’t know where.

Upstairs, introductions were made.

“Hi, hello, no not very tired.  Oh the flight was good.”

my husband’s office mate caught me off guard.

“We’re going out tomorrow night, right?”

Well, that’s very kind of you, but I’m married and my husband is right there.

“of course.”

That wasn’t as awkward as when after said night out, he kissed me.  It was all very European.  Apparently they do that there.

Anyway,

After that I wandered around (got lost) London for a bit.  Scoped out a place for lunch and had a Coke in the park.

Today’s the day.  Kids are in the capable hands of (Dorito’s) their sister and Happy Grandma.  Bag is packed.  Passport is dusted.  Online check in complete.  If all goes well, I will be seated with me and myself for the 10 hour flight to London.

Yes, I travel with one carry on bag.  For five days.

What is in it?

1. Skirts (3)
2. Shirts (4)
3. Leggings (1)
4. Socks (5)
5. Shoes (2 pair)
6. Undies
7. Travel alarm clock
8. Apple World Traveler Kit ***** Get this if you have an iPhone or Mac*******
9. Headbands (3)
10. 3-1-1 bag
11. Olay Daily Facials
12. A day pack (my Vera Bradley)
13. Backpack (for souvenirs)
14. My therapy coat
15. Dual voltage hairdryer

I was wearing a tshirt, jeans, hoodie, and my Uggs.  <3 Uggs.

To make security an easier experience, I have a separate compartment for my 3-1-1 bag, in that compartment I also carry multiple ziploc type baggies.  In order to make security a little faster for myself, I put the contents of my pockets into a ziploc baggie while standing in line.  That way I’m not holding up traffic by trying to gather together all of my pennies and whatever else is floating around.

After security, I repack for convenience.  I pulled out my daypack, which is my Vera Bradley purse, in it I put lotion, lip gloss, chapstick, and eye drops because there is no moisture on planes and my eyes and nose and face all dry up like a desert after about an hour.  My passport went into the interior zipper pocket where it stayed the majority of my trip.  My money and cards went into the exterior zipper pocket.  My phone went into the snap pocket.  I pulled out my charger cord, hair bands (this trip it was Warrant – lol) and pens.  After purchasing 3 bottles of overpriced water and a candy bar I quickly parked myself near an outlet where I topped off the ol’ iPhone.

After a short regional flight I arrived at a hub where I discovered that the whole entire place had been taken over by Pepsi.  We Throw Frisbees?  Coke, what is happening?  This is the second airport I’ve been to this year where I can’t buy Coke.  Get your butts out there and dominate.  Luckily there were a few chain restaurants that have an exclusive contract with Coke so I was able to manage, I bought a few more candy bars and waited patiently to leave.

My boarding pass had already been marked as having had my Passport verified, but I checked in anyway.  I don’t like being the lady who doesn’t have it together.  While the kind lady double checked my passport and boarding pass, we chatted.  I thanked her for seating me, myself and i together, she asked how I knew, “there’s an app for that.”  She told me to get some sleep and have a great vacation.

Tech Support and I emailed each other while I waited.  Decidedly anxious for our adventure.

We said goodbye.

He went to bed, and I got on the plane.

They were kind enough to put a “pillow’ in each seat.  I stacked all three of them together and still had to roll up my hoodie for cushioning, but hey it’s the thought that counts, right?

Continental is kind enough, on their transatlantic 777 flights to offer free on demand movies and tv in their seat backs.  Among other things, I watched Precious.  Great movie, just don’t expect to feel good, maybe thankful, but not good.

For dinner I had chicken and rice, which was pretty good for airplane food.  About a dozen Cokes, and lots of water.

We flew over land from Texas to New York and about the time we started over the water, I fell asleep.  I woke up several hours later as they were handing out “landing cards” where I had to tell the UK why I was visiting their lovely country and declare anything that needed to be declared.

I declared nothing.  Then they served breakfast.  And by breakfast I mean…..

a cold crescent roll, two chunks of cantaloupe, a slice of honeydew, and three grapes.

Stuffed is what I was.  After that and two candy bars.  Again, it’s the thought people, the thought.

I, after a couple hours of sleep, was rested and ready.  And after 12 Cokes, had to pee.  But the captain had turned on the seat belt sign and it was time to stow our tray tables and such.

It was then announced that we needed to do some fancy flying because we had originally been told to circle the UK and looking for a landing spot, but after getting halfway around the parking lot the first time they told us we had a “brief window” and to get our butts in line.  So we did.  On one hand, I was happy to get on the ground faster (had to pee) and on the other hand, fancy flying is not for those who have to pee.

But here I am, on the ground, and there are about 400 people between me and the lavatories, so, they’ll have one inside.  Under renovation, for our “convenience” – no for the convenience of the people arriving NEXT month.  Not so convenient for US.  Luckily, there was one by the passport line.

Although, I will admit that running into the bathroom and rifling through my bags for more clothing (big difference in lattitude between The City by the Sea and the UK) made me feel like I was on the show “Locked up Abroad” wondering if upon stepping out I would be told to “come with me”.

Luckily, no.

Of course I lost my primo spot in line and was six switch backs from the front.  Oh well, every other turn I got to see the people in the passport jail being held back by a nylon rope waiting for someone to come and take them to the great unknown behind closed doors.  AWKWARD.

When I got to the front it was all

• “Why are you here?”
• “Where are you staying?”
• “When are you leaving?”

Thank you.  Stamp.

I am a world traveler.

Yeah, they were full of crap.

When I called to activate the International plan I was informed that I could use 4 MB and could send 11 texts.

I can use 11 texts before I finish this post.

Then the International customer service rep informed me she could back date my plan to the beginning of the month and I could use the entire package.

Great let’s do that.

OK, now you can use 20 MB and send 15 texts.

1-5 or 5-0?

1-5.

No, it’s 5-0.

Yes, but I could only back date it until March 20 when we started the international texting program.

So, because you started a new and exciting program I get screwed?

Yes, that is correct.

So.  You CAN’T give me all 50 texts.

No, I can’t.

I need to talk to someone with a brain please.

Hold please.

OK, I talked to the brain.  We CAN give you all 50 texts.  It will of course involve you calling 15 more times to get those extra texts, just one of the many ways we strive to give you great customer service.

Yay, I can use my phone then?

Oh, no.  You can’t.  Seems we cannot offer you the International service until you have been a customer for at least six months.

Huh?

Well, you know criminals like to get new phone plans then go to Europe and commit phone crime and simply by paying your bill for six months we can then be certain you will not commit any phone crimes while in Europe.  Also, terr0rists.

I have had this same number for seven years.  It’s me.  I promise.

Well, we CAN get around the six month rule.  I will now ask you a series of 500 questions about any and all aspects of your life that may or may not be tied to you or Tech Supports social security number.  You must answer each of them based on the information that we have in our database if you wish to use your phone.

Mother’s Maiden Name?

My mother’s or his mother’s?  Also, is this the real name that is tied to the social through the gov’ment data base or the answer I give when signing up for DVD’s by mail?

Which of the following streets have you lived on in the past ten years.

1st?  No.

2nd? No.

3rd? Yes, for almost a month.

4th? No.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Spell and define at least three SAT words.

And you passed.

Yippee.

I can use my phone.  Guess I should order the Apple World Traveler kit.

Yeah.  Did. Not. Work.

That bitch is hitching a ride to England.

That should be fun.

10 hours on a plane, with cramps.

I see a w@tch list in my future.

This, however, is hilarious.

And they did.  The feeling was mutual.

One problem.

Well, make that five.

Now, I am quite certain that my (lazy) awesome parenting has prepared the many small children to fend for themselves for much longer than six days, but because there are orphans in the mix…..somebody has to watch them.

And not just anybody.  Body’s that have been certified by the FBI to not have been caught doing anything nefarious in their past.  Which makes the hiring process so much fun.  Yeah, “I’m going to be paying you about forty cents and hour to watch five children, first I need you to run yourself downtown and put your fingerprints into a gov’ment database.”  NEXT.

So, I figure with enough Dorito’s and Mtn. Dew in the house, we could just skip the child care portion.  Plus, think of how much money it will save us.  Everybody can walk themselves to school, sure that means about two miles one way for the youngest amongst us, but really the whole world is screaming about how kids don’t get enough exercise anyway.  So really, I’m just being a good parent.

***Disclaimer for the trolls.  It’s called sarcasm.  Like I’d buy Doritio’s for the kids.  Nacho puffs taste exactly the same.

Also, how cool is it that my title contains more words than my post?

As in….late.  The only girl more freaked out by being late than a 17 year old after prom, is a mom with six kids.   ESPECIALLY now that the twins are starting Kindergarten.  Although, there is no possibility for pregnancy, it still stirs up those freaky feelings.

So, I went on the pill.

Confused?

So was my sterile husband.

As I’m writing this, it is April Fool’s Day.  He figured that was it.  It’s not.  I’m not that clever.

We’re tweaking my thyroid.   Apparently when you tweak one hormone the others do weird things.  Normally, I would not care, just lie on the couch and wait for Mother Nature to get it together.  Except, if she doesn’t get off her ass TODAY, she’s going to London with me.

She was not invited to London.  But she has a way of showing up at the  most inopportune times.

I know that it’s easy to delay your period if you are already on the pill.  I’m not.  So, I asked my nurse if we could try to delay it.  She thought it would be possible.  I’ll let you know.