annieology

So, I haven’t seen the Marriage Ref on NBC, just a whole lot of previews.  Apparently, you write in regarding some complaint and a celebrity panel mocks you and declares a winner.  I saw a lady kissing her iguana and her husband rolling his eyes.  That’s all I know.

Then I saw Madonna was going to be on.

Really?

Is she really the go to girl for marriage advice?  Last I checked she kind of trashed her own marriage.

I guess it’s just one more nail in the coffin of what used to be a sanctified union.

Certainly it’s meant for entertainment.  I get that.  Although I don’t think that NBC would know what entertainment was if it bit them in the ass.  Every decent show they’ve had, they have also cancelled.  They want cheap thrills, and while they may get those cheap thrills, they will also get a reputation.

It’s like anything else NBC, you have to stick with things that you know are quality.  Whether or not it starts out hot.  Does anybody remember the first year of Seinfeld.  Or the second?  No.

You don’t trash quality programs because they aren’t immediate hits.  But I guess it’s useless to explain this to someone who hire Madonna as a marriage ref.  So, I’m going to go watch CSI Miami, because it’s on.  And it’s a hit.  And it’s also crap.

Somebody shut Kate up.  Please!  Pretty please!

I tried, really hard to watch, “Kate: Her Story” but I think some of my brain matter is permanently dead from doing so.

Every decision I make is life altering.  Cuz it HAS to be. I have eight kids.

Bull crap.  It only has to be if you are the supreme ruler of the universe and every decision is life or death, that’s not you Kate.  I know you think it is.  But it’s not.  If the kids have gum that isn’t organic, NO ONE WILL DIE.

Our life is exactly the same as it would be if we hadn’t done the show, what you see is our life, except now I can’t take my kids on fabulous vacations.

So, is it or isn’t is exactly the same as it would have been?  I’ve lived long enough to know that every action permanently changes the landscape of the world forever.  But I am supreme ruler of the universe, so that goes without saying.

I have no one I can trust.  I have no one in my life that hasn’t turned on me.   Or won’t in the future.

Yeah, that’s because you’re a kind of a bitch, except not kind of.  I’m sorry, but if I watch your eight kids and my kids all day while you do some sort of cool tv thing, and they are returned to you alive, don’t call me up five minutes later and yell at me for giving them gum.  Sorry I ruined a pair of socks, you make $60,000 an episode and won’t allow the tv people to pay me and my family for the time the tv show is in OUR home, fuck you and buy a new pair of socks.  Hey, I’ll even buy them.  But you are so not the victim.

I don’t know where Jon became unhappy.

Kate, have you never seen the show?  Have you never seen the interview where you explain to the world that you went behind his back for the second fertility treatment? The one that produced SIX babies.  But it’s okay, we were gonna do it eventually, you just went in a little early.   Or heard him tell the cameras that he felt like he was a dog that you were scolding.  Or even just noticed the constant yelling and general undertone of annoyance.  Because I saw it.  I called your divorce way back in the pumpkin patch.  I figured by the time you got to Toys R Us, that he was totally addicted to porn.   And when he hired a trainer.  Well, HELLO?

Or maybe you didn’t hear him when he said he didn’t want to do the show any more.  That he wanted to get a real job, that working from home didn’t do it for him.  I heard that.  And yes, I some days feel that way too, so maybe I am siding with him, except not maybe.  Sure, he could have gone about it differently, but at least my husband doesn’t remind me on national tv that we have kids that need someone at home and it ain’t going to be him, because he’s a star and people stand in line to see him at 1/2 Price Books.

Doesn’t TLC have a make over show of some sort?  Somebody has got to do something about Kate’s hair.  I didn’t think it could get worse.

I was wrong.

I’ll admit it.

And as supreme ruler of the universe I can do that.

Are you watching?

Christian Slater is in it.

Good but not great.

Great was where Christian Slater was last year.  My Own Worst Enemy.  Great.

Still a little bitter.

At least you could show all the shows you filmed.

Don’t remember his name, but Jimmy from Yes Dear.

He too was great.  In everything.  But especially in Enemy.

Now, the forgotten will fare much better in history.  It is Jerry Bruckheimer after all.  Because it is Jerry Bruckheimer, and is not on NBC, it will probably live a lot longer.

Come on NBC, keep the good shows.  Life.  Enemy.  I know Leno and Dateline are easy, but do you really want easy?  Apparently you do.