annieology

Somebody shut Kate up.  Please!  Pretty please!

I tried, really hard to watch, “Kate: Her Story” but I think some of my brain matter is permanently dead from doing so.

Every decision I make is life altering.  Cuz it HAS to be. I have eight kids.

Bull crap.  It only has to be if you are the supreme ruler of the universe and every decision is life or death, that’s not you Kate.  I know you think it is.  But it’s not.  If the kids have gum that isn’t organic, NO ONE WILL DIE.

Our life is exactly the same as it would be if we hadn’t done the show, what you see is our life, except now I can’t take my kids on fabulous vacations.

So, is it or isn’t is exactly the same as it would have been?  I’ve lived long enough to know that every action permanently changes the landscape of the world forever.  But I am supreme ruler of the universe, so that goes without saying.

I have no one I can trust.  I have no one in my life that hasn’t turned on me.   Or won’t in the future.

Yeah, that’s because you’re a kind of a bitch, except not kind of.  I’m sorry, but if I watch your eight kids and my kids all day while you do some sort of cool tv thing, and they are returned to you alive, don’t call me up five minutes later and yell at me for giving them gum.  Sorry I ruined a pair of socks, you make $60,000 an episode and won’t allow the tv people to pay me and my family for the time the tv show is in OUR home, fuck you and buy a new pair of socks.  Hey, I’ll even buy them.  But you are so not the victim.

I don’t know where Jon became unhappy.

Kate, have you never seen the show?  Have you never seen the interview where you explain to the world that you went behind his back for the second fertility treatment? The one that produced SIX babies.  But it’s okay, we were gonna do it eventually, you just went in a little early.   Or heard him tell the cameras that he felt like he was a dog that you were scolding.  Or even just noticed the constant yelling and general undertone of annoyance.  Because I saw it.  I called your divorce way back in the pumpkin patch.  I figured by the time you got to Toys R Us, that he was totally addicted to porn.   And when he hired a trainer.  Well, HELLO?

Or maybe you didn’t hear him when he said he didn’t want to do the show any more.  That he wanted to get a real job, that working from home didn’t do it for him.  I heard that.  And yes, I some days feel that way too, so maybe I am siding with him, except not maybe.  Sure, he could have gone about it differently, but at least my husband doesn’t remind me on national tv that we have kids that need someone at home and it ain’t going to be him, because he’s a star and people stand in line to see him at 1/2 Price Books.

Doesn’t TLC have a make over show of some sort?  Somebody has got to do something about Kate’s hair.  I didn’t think it could get worse.

I was wrong.

I’ll admit it.

And as supreme ruler of the universe I can do that.

Are you watching?

Christian Slater is in it.

Good but not great.

Great was where Christian Slater was last year.  My Own Worst Enemy.  Great.

Still a little bitter.

At least you could show all the shows you filmed.

Don’t remember his name, but Jimmy from Yes Dear.

He too was great.  In everything.  But especially in Enemy.

Now, the forgotten will fare much better in history.  It is Jerry Bruckheimer after all.  Because it is Jerry Bruckheimer, and is not on NBC, it will probably live a lot longer.

Come on NBC, keep the good shows.  Life.  Enemy.  I know Leno and Dateline are easy, but do you really want easy?  Apparently you do.

OK I am loving the team with the guy with Asperger’s. Having a kid that NEEDS routine, I really admire the fact that he’s willing to step out and do this.

Also like the father/son with pink hair team.

There is a team that I don’t like, but not for the reason you would think.

Can you believe how many family members can fit on one motor bike?

Did I tell you that I have finally figured out my perfect CBS approved team mate?  Me and Mama.  Yes, me and the mother of my children.  Would you not watch that?  I totally would.

Vietnam has a lot of brightly dressed and smiley children.

Apparently you don’t have to pass an IQ test to get onto the show.

Teams were pretty much neck and neck the whole way.  First on the mat came down to the Globe Trotters and the athletic/dating since high school couple.  Is there a need for me to tell you that the Globetrotters won the foot race?  Well, they did.  The girl couldn’t keep up.

So, it was

1. Globe Trotters
2. Meghan and Cheyne
3. Father and Pinky
4. Miss America and hubby
5. Sam & Dan (brothers)
6. Poker Players
7. Mika & Canaan
8. Zev & Justin
9. Lance & Keri (attorney and fiance’)

The dating couple Marcy and Ron were eliminated.

Somebody loses their passport next week.