Israel was begging God for a king.

We want a king.

Everybody else gets a king.

Why don’t we have a king?

We want a king.

God warned them that if they had a king, he would be in charge.  He would impose burdensome taxes. He would enslave the future generations.

Still.

We want a king.

Everybody else has a king.

Sound familiar?

I would like to go on the record, with God and everybody else.

I DO NOT WANT GOVERNMENT SUBSIDIZED HEALTH CARE.

I DON’T CARE WHAT CANADA DOES.

I DON’T CARE WHAT EUROPE DOES.

THIS IS AMERICA DAMMIT.

GET OFF YOUR ASS, LEAVE THE CAVE, KILL SOMETHING AND DRAG IT HOME.

Do not trust that the government has learned from their failings in Social Security, Medicaid, Education (how many schools have been closed this year because they are failing financially, and educationally????)  and somehow will get this one right.  Have you been to the DMV?  Trust that God cares for you more than some beaurocrat.

Do we need health care reform?  Yes.  Is the government getting involved the answer?  Hell NO.

I hope that you have let your Representatives know how you feel about this.  I have no hope that mine will listen to me.  I will be voting against him in the fall.

God save us from ourselves.

First, let’s talk about the Tim Tebow, Focus on the Family, Super Bowl commercial.  The “most controversial” ad of the year, even though there were tire commercials where the men chose tires over their wives, and men “not complaining” that their women have emasculated them because they can drive whatever they want?  How is that less offensive than a mother saying she is thankful for a son that she almost lost. Nowhere in the Tebow ad did anyone say anything about abortion or give a judgment as to its morality.  It simply pointed you to a website to learn more about their story.

I don’t know what has happened over there at family.org but, and they might pull my Christian card for this one,  thank God James Dobson isn’t the public face over there on this one.  He needed to step aside a long time ago and let families tell their stories about how Jesus rocked their world.  Like the guy from KORN.

I have been spared, not from anything like meth, but spared none the less.   In many cases suburbia might be as dangerous as meth to eternity.  Because we are “good” on our own.  We can debate the loftier sins without actually getting our hands dirty.  We go to church on Sunday, sit next to people who look like us, make the same amount of money as us and have the same hygiene regimens as us.   We send $30/month to charity who sent us a picture of a kid in Africa and we are doing our part for God and for orphans.  We pray for the homeless, and by pray I mean, “Dear God, please help that homeless man (not go crazy at this particular moment, pull me out of my car and kill me in front of my children because I’m pretending I don’t see him while I talk on my phone).  And we have done our part without really doing anything at all.

We take care of orphans only when it serves the purpose to ease the pain of our own need to fill our families, not as a directive from God.  Truth be told, most Christians do not want to face the realities of the orphans.  They want nothing to do with babies born addicted to drugs, or who have been sexually abused and may in turn abuse others.  We want healthy, well adjusted orphans that fit it with our own  family and who have no residual family members that we will have to deal with.  Somehow, I think we have really missed the boat, and are doing it in the name of God.

We can blame the gov’ment, or society, or the culture we live in but WE are the problem.  We expect the world to play by our rules when they aren’t even playing our game.  Let me just throw this one out there,  I think that Satan is proud of the work we are doing as Christians.  I think he’s great with the work churches are doing in America.  Sure, he’s lost a few to God, but those few pale in comparison to the numbers he would lose if we were effective Christians doing the work of God.  Because right now, churches are the only place you can discuss God, and if you aren’t already in a church, what is the liklihood that you will find yourself in one?  Because they are not known as safe havens for the hurting. That is something that we cannot blame on others.

A quick plug for my own church Imagine Fellowship we meet in a movie theater on the first Sunday of the month, shortly before the first showing of Saw IV.   We don’t have a building, don’t want one, because the church is not a place we meet, the church is who we are.   If you take away the building who you are becomes more evident.  What difference are we making in the world?  If we are not affecting our world, then what is our purpose?

********

I wrote this in response to something I read on A girls site.   A girl and me do monthly co-writings.  She wrote about abortion and the Tim Tebow commercial here.  And to be fair she wrote this before the commercial aired, and didn’t know that I was writing this in response.

I hate the time change.

For that and there is always a clock that gets left out, and you spend way too much time wondering if it is really that time, before deciding to go check another clock only to get distracted by something shiny or whiny and another day passes and it never gets changed.

That and

are you supposed to change your smoke detector batteries on fall back or spring forward?  I forget so I do it on both, yet the time between fall and spring has gotten significantly shorter so it seems a waste, but if I don’t do it both I will never do it.

Speaking of which, I think it’s time for a fire inspection.

Which means it’s time for a health inspection, which means I have to buy outlet covers, yes my kids are beyond the need for outlet covers, but golly, they cannot be taught not to touch them.  As we know kids cannot override those tricky outlet covers.   Once again gov’ment knows best.

Speaking of which, I heard today on the radio, which is a reliable source of news, that California is dealing with their illegal immigrant problem by busing their “detainees” to Texas to a town of 4200.  Every day they bring 94 detainees and deposit them in said town until their hearing on whether or not they can stay in the U.S. even though they entered illegally.  So, where does a town of 4200 house said detainees until their hearing, they can’t.  So, they have to release them with a citation and hearing date, any wagers on how many of them show up for their hearing?  So instead of busing them across the border where they entered, they put them on a bus, travel out of California, through Arizona, through New Mexico and dump them here.  Now they are a bazillion miles from their family in Mexico, in a town that has not the resources to house or feed them.  Welcome to Texas.

While listening to that I saw a guy walking down the street openly carrying a fire arm.  Which is super sexy to someone whose favorite Amendment is the 2nd.  I pondered on FB which was sexier.  Concealed or open carry.  But that’s like asking what’s sexier, a man in uniform, or out of one.  Completely redundant.

I had my first opportunity to assess our winter clothing needs.  We are covered in 17 of 49 categories.  Probably more I need to go through a few closets yet.  Unfortunately I do not need a new coat.  I mean I so rarely get to buy one.   Truth time.  We once discussed my desire to buy a coat in counseling.  Yes, can you tell Tech Support and I have been through rough times?  Fighting over whether or not I should buy a $79 coat.  So trivial.  We don’t fight about things like that anymore,  most of our fights are about who’s a dork and who isn’t.  Nobody wins that fight.

The twins decided today that they wanted to go on vacation and ride a donkey.  Better yet a donkey/dragon hybrid like in Shrek.  Yeah, that would be awesome.

I went to Chic-fil-A for lunch.  Ours has a very jacked up lunch time mess.  They have people in the parking lot who take your order and call it in on their cell phone.  That and their parking lot was designed by a monkey.  So, that aside, I was placing my order and reading blogs on my cell phone and the order taker said she had the same phone as I did.  Cool.  And as if to prove it to me, I guess I looked shocked that SHE would have a phone like mine.  She dug through her pockets to show it to me.  OKaaaay.

Tech Support went to school today to volunteer for the whole day.  I did not kill his dog.  Yes I’m the very model of self control.  He left 15 minutes ago for a meeting and the dog is already barking non-stop and will continue to do so until the man returns.  He may not be so lucky tonight.

I feel it is time to feed myself.  I, contrary to the prevailing thought of child educators, must take care of myself.  I know, I should be a martyr and kill not only myself but my marriage to make sure the littles and the bigs have only the best of everything.   Sorry, not buying it.

Big Boy is mooing.  I should really go check that out.

The other night, someone in our City by the Sea, a baby was found in a designated drop zone.

Now the Police want our help in locating the mother.  Seems she did not leave the baby during the proper hours.

We Throw Frisbees?

I’ve seen a lot of Baby Moses drop site signs.  Never once have I seen hours of operation listed.  Let’s try and focus on the fact that we didn’t find the baby in a dumpster.

Now, had the baby been found dead, I would understand possibly charging someone, but seriously, the baby was alive, in a designated drop zone.  What concerns me is that the baby had drugs in his system.  Very obviously a crime and not a good idea, but if we go after people who chronically make bad decisions, doing drugs while in labor being one of them, is that going to keep more babies out of dumpsters in the future?

No.

So, there will be no help from me locating this woman or any other who utilizes the Baby Moses Law.  Not if they leave the baby in the wrong place.  Not if they leave it in the right place at the wrong time.  Not if the baby is as high as a kite.  This law, in this case, did what it was intended to do.  Gave the mother a safe place to leave her child without fear of prosecution, and dare we say persecution.  It kept this baby out of a dumpster.

I think we can all agree that this was a good thing.

I don’t care if he’s won every Tour de France ever.

I cared a bit about his cancer foundation and even bought a bunch of Livestrong bracelets when they were cool.

When I ordered those bracelets on got on the email list, and from time to time I get updates.  Which was fine.

Until today.

Today I got an email where he encouraged us to contact our representatives to tell them to push through health reform so what happened to him doesn’t happen to anyone else, ever.

When he got cancer he wasn’t insured.

And no one would insure him after his diagnosis because he had a pre-existing condition.

Really.

Insurance is insuring you against things that might happen in the future.

No one would sell you car insurance AFTER you wrecked your car.  And if anyone complained about that we would think they were idiots.

Did Lance think he might never need health insurance.  Maybe if he wrecked his bike, or had someone hit them with their car???? I’m sure he had the sponsors who would be willing to buy it for him.

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF LAZINESS.

That’s right.  I said it.

He didn’t want to bother with the details of getting insurance.  By his own admission he didn’t even get his testicles checked until one of them was the size of a softball.  A SOFTBALL. And just the one.

Lazy. Lazy. Idiot.

I don’t care how impressive he is on a bike.

That’s just stupid.

I of course have already promised to make life fair.  Those of you who are Facebook fans already know this.  I know I only have 43 Facebook fans, but it really isn’t all that popular of a site.  I mean almost none of you are on Facebook right?

Anyway, I did promise to make life fair.  For everyone.  I know that sounds nice as a campaign promise, but you realize that you all have to go to bed at 8 pm now.  My kids go to bed then, and it wouldn’t be fair to them if you got to stay up later.  Thank God for the DVR.

I won’t be signing any budgets.  Unless it’s exclusive purpose is to fund the military in order for them to provide for our common defense.  That is the role of the federal gov’ment.   A lot of people have gotten confused.  They understand the next line to read “provide” for the general welfare.  No, no, no.  We are to promote the general welfare.  There is a difference.

Since there is no budget for Congress, it will have to take a break.  Maybe go back to where they came from and face the people who elected them.  I’m giving you three years to decide what you want to say to them when they get there.

You’ll like this part, since you have no representation, I can’t very well tax you.  So, until someone seriously considers the Fair Tax, you’ll get your entire paycheck.  And good news for you, once they enact the Fair Tax you will also get to keep your entire paycheck.  The Fair Tax will not raise prices of goods, it only replaces the increase in the cost of goods that represents the embedded tax.  You pay the same amount, the store pays the tax.  You’ll like knowing that if you make $5,000 a month, your checks will total $5,000 – a brilliant concept.  Thought of by someone other than an elected official.

OK, so life is now fair, Congress is getting an earful, and you are keeping you’re whole check.  I’m thinking Congress will probably impeach me shortly, so make sure you are vociferous in your objections.  If your representatives have been there a long time, you might want to start writing to them now, maybe we can drive a few of them into a looney bin.

So, what are we supposed to do without all these gov’ment services?  Well, Mother Theresa was once quoted as saying the solution to world hunger is to “go home and feed your family”.  I think that will work well in all aspects of life.  Your kids won’t go hungry if you feed them.  If your neighbor has a kid that is hungry, invite them over for dinner, buy them a package of Pop Tarts every week to eat for breakfast.  Even if they ate with you every day, it would be cheaper than whatever you are paying in taxes.  Oh, I know, right now you can just call an 800 number and someone will come and get the kid.  What you don’t know is what happens to that kid.  We’ve had dozens of foster kids pass through our home, I am certain that many of them would have fared better in life had they not been taken into care.  Do not even suggest I don’t give a damn about children.  Unless you have a couple of orphans you are caring for, you won’t even get to a live person to complain to.

Also, you will have the power to fire any public servant right on the spot.  You see city workers hanging out for three hours not working.  You will be entitled to hand them a pink slip.  Does it REALLY take three years to pave a six block stretch of road?  REALLY?

This also serves as a warning to all the charitable organizations out there.  You are going to be busy.  Get on to figuring out what you are going to do about it now.

I will have to get back to you on the other things, it’s after 8 and I have to go to bed.

Yes, I’m still fake running for President, although Hubby pointed out that the blog might have to go once I am.  People will know where we live.   Although it would be nice to look out  and see Hubby playing disc golf on the front lawn.  Picking fresh produce from the Obama garden, cared for by school children.

Do you think I’d get to bring my housekeeper?

I’m assuming He Chef and She Chef would come along.

And Shanda Cakes will be world famous and she’ll be like, “I only make one cake a week and it’s $10,000″, and people will be lined up to pay that.

Did you know I’d have to pay for my own housekeeper and chef?  And personal shopper?  I know you got to draw the line somewhere, but I’m not able to go and buy toothpaste, I’m the freaking President.

Do you think TLC will be interested in making a reality show? That should offset the super low salary.  Seriously, $400,000 doesn’t go as far as it used to.  And if Jon & Kate can make $60,000/show for 25 shows/year that’s almost four times the Presidential salary.  Something is not right here.

Maybe we’ll take in more foster kids.  CPS will be going over the White House guest list wondering why the President of France doesn’t have a CPR certification on file.

It’s going to be awesome.

Except not.

You know CNN is going to have a graph that speculates my monthly cycle based on bomb droppings and whether or not I look puffy.  And everyone will be wondering I wear my Lucky Brand Jeans to the office, and I’ll be like “have you not seen my ass in these jeans?”  Then they’ll say mean things like, “when did Ellie Mae get elected?”

People are mean.

Back to being awesome.

Speaking of awesome.  Love of my life is taking the proverbial bullet today and attending the super long,  super boring foster training today.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  You will make an awesome First Guy.

That’s right, I have heard Obama say that Roosevelt was accused of being a Socialist when he wanted national Social Security.    You know our forefathers who fought against Social Security hated old people.  We are living 70 years into that future, and I think we can all agree that Social Security is indeed a blessing to our grandparents, parents, and God help me if I’m not excited about the possibility of getting it in the future.  I think of it like playing the lottery.  I put money in and should someday I get money out, it’ll be free money.  Except I don’t play the lottery.  Bad odds and all.

Also?  Social Security is broke.  We as a nation have resolved ourselves to the probability that it won’t be there when we need it.

Those who don’t learn from history are destined to repeat it.  Health Care may work for this generation.  Maybe.  But what does it look like in 70 years.  Social Security?  Worse?  I don’t know.

That wasn’t my concern tonight.

Tonight, I was needed elsewhere.

Shanda made cake.

And God wanted me there to eat it.

Now there were other things that needed to be done, like talk to people about adoption, and sign up to do event planning.  Oh and adopt my Canadian friend so we can go on The Amazing Race and wear our annieology tees.  Actual important things that will make my life better.  Plus my Canadian friend is a nurse and when I’m her mama I can make her fix me as part of her chores.  Whatever, it’s my blog, I can make my fake adopted non kid from Canada do anything I want.

I won’t need to worry about social security, I have six kids,  seven if you count Canada.  So they have to take care of me when I get old because I do not feel very secure with the “public option” on my retirement.   I’m writing that into the adoption plan.

Wednesday night was God’s way of telling me that I don’t need to concern myself with all that is happening in Washington.  He’s in charge everywhere.  Even there.  What is going to make a real difference in my life is spending time with real people.   With friends that I love.  Helping people who are actually hurting right now.

What do I care about health care anymore?  I’m adopting a nurse.

Then I grew up and moved away to Hippyville U.S.A. and spent ten years thinking it was such a progressive town full of diversity and whatnot.  For goodness sake, we were bringing our own bags to the grocery store, before the grocery stores were smart enough to sell them to us.  That’s how forward thinking we were.

So here I am in another city, and not that it matters, I’ve got the whole world at my fingertips.  (btw – I would like to welcome Jacksonville, Florida to the readership – HI!)  But here I am in a new place where I am surrounded with people who are nothing like me.

I love it.  I am happy.  Things are great.

As long as I don’t engage in any media.  No one is nice in media.  Apparently, if we disagree on anything I must hate you.  YOU are so obviously wrong in your thinking.  I know this because I am always right, just ask my husband.  Always.  No, actually even he doesn’t agree with everything I say.  I’ve tried hating him, it wasn’t much fun.  Truth be told, it’s not really fun hating any of you either.  Even those of you who watch Oprah or The Office, or vote for people I don’t.

Over the years I’ve become so progressive in my thinking that I’ve come to realize that it’s not the people, per se, that I hate. It’s more the self appointed spokesperson for the group.  For example, I love being a woman.  It’s just the talking heads that make me cringe in a corner.  I remember about 10 or so years ago there was a study that was released that proved in that scientific way that studies do, that men could complete mazes faster than women could.  Oh my goodness, you’d think they had taken away our right to vote.  All these spokeswomen came out saying “girls aren’t stupid” or some equally lame argument.  I should have started blogging right then and there.

That actually would have been a great time for blogging.  There was this lady I worked with.  Dumb.  Dumb to the level of hilarity.  I always have wondered who she caught in what compromising position to get that job.  Anyway….

All that to say, if you don’t judge me by what is said on talk radio, I won’t believe that you are up to everything they say you are.

You’ve fallen victim to a classic mistake.  The head fake.  Obama will be speaking to us on Wednesday night.  He’s going to try one last time to get everybody on board with his health care plan.  Oprah will be, no doubt, talking about it all week.  Like she needs health care reform.  But she cares.  And has millions of drones who will be writing their representatives.  Anyway, he’s going to no doubt say all the “right wing conspirators” who were so concerned about my “stay in school” speech will get upset about anything.   Anything at all, even if it’s nothing.  And you all are going to look a tad bit foolish.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want socialized medicine.  Yes, I know all the arguments.  Education is free, and the fire department is free and the police, oh my gosh, where would we be if we had to pay for police?  My question is how happy are you with these services?  They aren’t serving all places equally.  The schools on one side of town are completely different than they are on the other side of town.  Whole neighborhoods are built around new schools, because everybody wants to get their kids into the “best” school.  If it’s socialized, why aren’t they all the same?  Our house has been labeled a foster home by the police.  Do you know how long it takes them to respond to anything here?  Let’s say it’s not quickly.

I’ve seen a lot of ads and posts about health care shouldn’t be for profit.  Why the hell not?  Did you go to medical school?  From what I hear it’s expensive.  You know why?  There’s a bunch of stuff that needs taught and not a lot of people who know this stuff.  So, you have to pay good money to get good teachers in order to get good doctors.  Seems reasonable.  Yes, there is a profit motive for doctors, but I believe that it is secondary to their wish to help people.

The problem is insurance.  70 years ago when my grandmother gave birth it cost $21 for prenatal care, delivery, and post partum care for her and the baby.  Now, who even knows.  We bill insurance.  We pay our deductibles and our co-pays and if we get a bill afterwards we pay that too.  On the doctor side of things he needs to make a certain amount of money during  all of this time.  Let’s say he needs to make $2,000 for the time he spends caring for you during and after your pregnancy.  The insurance comes in and says, “give our customers a discount”.  They negotiate back and forth and the doctor ends up getting his $2,000 but he bills you $3,000 and gives you a $1,000 discount for using that insurance company.  Now the going rate for having a baby just went from $2,000 to $3,000 – and if I walk in there without insurance, guess which one I’m paying.

I have a lab bill, the original bill was for $405 – the insurance discount was for $328 – the insurance paid $65 – after all is said and done I owe $8 – That’s right the lab ended up getting paid $76 on a bill that was over $400 – I’m guessing my lab work cost the lab about $76 to run.  Yet, had they not taken my insurance I would be stuck paying the $405.

I’m not happy with the huge discount that I got.  I would rather pay the lab company $76 and cut out the middle man.

So people, send your kids to school.  Let the president tell them to stay in school.  If you are worried about what he’s going to say watch the dang thing on the internet and discuss it with your kids. Get upset about the things that actually mean something.  And if you don’t want people you don’t agree with talking to your kids, you had better keep them home all the time.  Not just today.