annieology

Here, as in many places, we have a Moses Law.  This law allows people to leave a baby up to a certain age,  in a designated place without fear of being charged with abandoning it.  This is of course designed to keep babies out of dumpsters.

The other night, someone in our City by the Sea, a baby was found in a designated drop zone.

Now the Police want our help in locating the mother.  Seems she did not leave the baby during the proper hours.

We Throw Frisbees?

I’ve seen a lot of Baby Moses drop site signs.  Never once have I seen hours of operation listed.  Let’s try and focus on the fact that we didn’t find the baby in a dumpster.

Now, had the baby been found dead, I would understand possibly charging someone, but seriously, the baby was alive, in a designated drop zone.  What concerns me is that the baby had drugs in his system.  Very obviously a crime and not a good idea, but if we go after people who chronically make bad decisions, doing drugs while in labor being one of them, is that going to keep more babies out of dumpsters in the future?

No.

So, there will be no help from me locating this woman or any other who utilizes the Baby Moses Law.  Not if they leave the baby in the wrong place.  Not if they leave it in the right place at the wrong time.  Not if the baby is as high as a kite.  This law, in this case, did what it was intended to do.  Gave the mother a safe place to leave her child without fear of prosecution, and dare we say persecution.  It kept this baby out of a dumpster.

I think we can all agree that this was a good thing.

Generally I do not give the man any thought.

I don’t care if he’s won every Tour de France ever.

I cared a bit about his cancer foundation and even bought a bunch of Livestrong bracelets when they were cool.

When I ordered those bracelets on got on the email list, and from time to time I get updates.  Which was fine.

Until today.

Today I got an email where he encouraged us to contact our representatives to tell them to push through health reform so what happened to him doesn’t happen to anyone else, ever.

When he got cancer he wasn’t insured.

And no one would insure him after his diagnosis because he had a pre-existing condition.

Really.

Insurance is insuring you against things that might happen in the future.

No one would sell you car insurance AFTER you wrecked your car.  And if anyone complained about that we would think they were idiots.

Did Lance think he might never need health insurance.  Maybe if he wrecked his bike, or had someone hit them with their car???? I’m sure he had the sponsors who would be willing to buy it for him.

LANCE ARMSTRONG IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF LAZINESS.

That’s right.  I said it.

He didn’t want to bother with the details of getting insurance.  By his own admission he didn’t even get his testicles checked until one of them was the size of a softball.  A SOFTBALL. And just the one.

Lazy. Lazy. Idiot.

I don’t care how impressive he is on a bike.

That’s just stupid.

It’s a good thing I’m starting my campaign now, I mean if I’m going from the tens of hits I get now, to having millions of people voting for me in a little more than three years I’m going to have to get a move on.

I of course have already promised to make life fair.  Those of you who are Facebook fans already know this.  I know I only have 43 Facebook fans, but it really isn’t all that popular of a site.  I mean almost none of you are on Facebook right?

Anyway, I did promise to make life fair.  For everyone.  I know that sounds nice as a campaign promise, but you realize that you all have to go to bed at 8 pm now.  My kids go to bed then, and it wouldn’t be fair to them if you got to stay up later.  Thank God for the DVR.

I won’t be signing any budgets.  Unless it’s exclusive purpose is to fund the military in order for them to provide for our common defense.  That is the role of the federal gov’ment.   A lot of people have gotten confused.  They understand the next line to read “provide” for the general welfare.  No, no, no.  We are to promote the general welfare.  There is a difference.

Since there is no budget for Congress, it will have to take a break.  Maybe go back to where they came from and face the people who elected them.  I’m giving you three years to decide what you want to say to them when they get there.

You’ll like this part, since you have no representation, I can’t very well tax you.  So, until someone seriously considers the Fair Tax, you’ll get your entire paycheck.  And good news for you, once they enact the Fair Tax you will also get to keep your entire paycheck.  The Fair Tax will not raise prices of goods, it only replaces the increase in the cost of goods that represents the embedded tax.  You pay the same amount, the store pays the tax.  You’ll like knowing that if you make $5,000 a month, your checks will total $5,000 – a brilliant concept.  Thought of by someone other than an elected official.

OK, so life is now fair, Congress is getting an earful, and you are keeping you’re whole check.  I’m thinking Congress will probably impeach me shortly, so make sure you are vociferous in your objections.  If your representatives have been there a long time, you might want to start writing to them now, maybe we can drive a few of them into a looney bin.

So, what are we supposed to do without all these gov’ment services?  Well, Mother Theresa was once quoted as saying the solution to world hunger is to “go home and feed your family”.  I think that will work well in all aspects of life.  Your kids won’t go hungry if you feed them.  If your neighbor has a kid that is hungry, invite them over for dinner, buy them a package of Pop Tarts every week to eat for breakfast.  Even if they ate with you every day, it would be cheaper than whatever you are paying in taxes.  Oh, I know, right now you can just call an 800 number and someone will come and get the kid.  What you don’t know is what happens to that kid.  We’ve had dozens of foster kids pass through our home, I am certain that many of them would have fared better in life had they not been taken into care.  Do not even suggest I don’t give a damn about children.  Unless you have a couple of orphans you are caring for, you won’t even get to a live person to complain to.

Also, you will have the power to fire any public servant right on the spot.  You see city workers hanging out for three hours not working.  You will be entitled to hand them a pink slip.  Does it REALLY take three years to pave a six block stretch of road?  REALLY?

This also serves as a warning to all the charitable organizations out there.  You are going to be busy.  Get on to figuring out what you are going to do about it now.

I will have to get back to you on the other things, it’s after 8 and I have to go to bed.