It’s a good thing I’m starting my campaign now, I mean if I’m going from the tens of hits I get now, to having millions of people voting for me in a little more than three years I’m going to have to get a move on.
I of course have already promised to make life fair. Those of you who are Facebook fans already know this. I know I only have 43 Facebook fans, but it really isn’t all that popular of a site. I mean almost none of you are on Facebook right?
Anyway, I did promise to make life fair. For everyone. I know that sounds nice as a campaign promise, but you realize that you all have to go to bed at 8 pm now. My kids go to bed then, and it wouldn’t be fair to them if you got to stay up later. Thank God for the DVR.
I won’t be signing any budgets. Unless it’s exclusive purpose is to fund the military in order for them to provide for our common defense. That is the role of the federal gov’ment. A lot of people have gotten confused. They understand the next line to read “provide” for the general welfare. No, no, no. We are to promote the general welfare. There is a difference.
Since there is no budget for Congress, it will have to take a break. Maybe go back to where they came from and face the people who elected them. I’m giving you three years to decide what you want to say to them when they get there.
You’ll like this part, since you have no representation, I can’t very well tax you. So, until someone seriously considers the Fair Tax, you’ll get your entire paycheck. And good news for you, once they enact the Fair Tax you will also get to keep your entire paycheck. The Fair Tax will not raise prices of goods, it only replaces the increase in the cost of goods that represents the embedded tax. You pay the same amount, the store pays the tax. You’ll like knowing that if you make $5,000 a month, your checks will total $5,000 – a brilliant concept. Thought of by someone other than an elected official.
OK, so life is now fair, Congress is getting an earful, and you are keeping you’re whole check. I’m thinking Congress will probably impeach me shortly, so make sure you are vociferous in your objections. If your representatives have been there a long time, you might want to start writing to them now, maybe we can drive a few of them into a looney bin.
So, what are we supposed to do without all these gov’ment services? Well, Mother Theresa was once quoted as saying the solution to world hunger is to “go home and feed your family”. I think that will work well in all aspects of life. Your kids won’t go hungry if you feed them. If your neighbor has a kid that is hungry, invite them over for dinner, buy them a package of Pop Tarts every week to eat for breakfast. Even if they ate with you every day, it would be cheaper than whatever you are paying in taxes. Oh, I know, right now you can just call an 800 number and someone will come and get the kid. What you don’t know is what happens to that kid. We’ve had dozens of foster kids pass through our home, I am certain that many of them would have fared better in life had they not been taken into care. Do not even suggest I don’t give a damn about children. Unless you have a couple of orphans you are caring for, you won’t even get to a live person to complain to.
Also, you will have the power to fire any public servant right on the spot. You see city workers hanging out for three hours not working. You will be entitled to hand them a pink slip. Does it REALLY take three years to pave a six block stretch of road? REALLY?
This also serves as a warning to all the charitable organizations out there. You are going to be busy. Get on to figuring out what you are going to do about it now.
I will have to get back to you on the other things, it’s after 8 and I have to go to bed.