http://annieology.com Yes I love the images too! Working on it. Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:53:49 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Yeah, this is a fight starter, to be sure.  I'm going to talk about BOTH politics AND religion.  You've been warned. First, let's talk about the Tim Tebow, Focus on the Family [1], Super Bowl commercial.  The "most controversial" ad of the year, even though there were tire commercials where the men chose tires over their wives, and men "not complaining" that their women have emasculated them because they can drive whatever they want?  How is that less offensive than a mother saying she is thankful for a son that she almost lost. Nowhere in the Tebow ad did anyone say anything about abortion or give a judgment as to its morality.  It simply pointed you to a website to learn more about their story. [2] I don't know what has happened over there at family.org but, and they might pull my Christian card for this one,  thank God James Dobson isn't the public face over there on this one.  He needed to step aside a long time ago and let families tell their stories about how Jesus rocked their world.  Like the guy from KORN [3]. I have been spared, not from anything like meth, but spared none the less.   In many cases suburbia might be as dangerous as meth to eternity.  Because we are "good" on our own.  We can debate the loftier sins without actually getting our hands dirty.  We go to church on Sunday, sit next to people who look like us, make the same amount of money as us and have the same hygiene regimens as us.   We send $30/month to charity who sent us a picture of a kid in Africa and we are doing our part for God and for orphans.  We pray for the homeless, and by pray I mean, "Dear God, please help that homeless man (not go crazy at this particular moment, pull me out of my car and kill me in front of my children because I'm pretending I don't see him while I talk on my phone).  And we have done our part without really doing anything at all. We take care of orphans only when it serves the purpose to ease the pain of our own need to fill our families, not as a directive from God.  Truth be told, most Christians do not want to face the realities of the orphans.  They want nothing to do with babies born addicted to drugs, or who have been sexually abused and may in turn abuse others.  We want healthy, well adjusted orphans that fit it with our own  family and who have no residual family members that we will have to deal with.  Somehow, I think we have really missed the boat, and are doing it in the name of God. We can blame the gov'ment, or society, or the culture we live in but WE are the problem.  We expect the world to play by our rules when they aren't even playing our game.  Let me just throw this one out there,  I think that Satan is proud of the work we are doing as Christians.  I think he's great with the work churches are doing in America.  Sure, he's lost a few to God, but those few pale in comparison to the numbers he would lose if we were effective Christians doing the work of God.  Because right now, churches are the only place you can discuss God, and if you aren't already in a church, what is the liklihood that you will find yourself in one?  Because they are not known as safe havens for the hurting. That is something that we cannot blame on others. A quick plug for my own church Imagine Fellowship [4] we meet in a movie theater on the first Sunday of the month, shortly before the first showing of Saw IV.   We don't have a building, don't want one, because the church is not a place we meet, the church is who we are.   If you take away the building who you are becomes more evident.  What difference are we making in the world?  If we are not affecting our world, then what is our purpose? ******** I wrote this in response to something I read on A girls site.   A girl and me do monthly co-writings.  She wrote about abortion and the Tim Tebow commercial here [5].  And to be fair she wrote this before the commercial aired, and didn't know that I was writing this in response. [1] http://www.focusonthefamily.com/ [2] http://www.focusonthefamily.com/ [3] http://www.focusonthefamily.com/nsc/box/video_brian_welch.aspx [4] http://imaginefellowship.org/ [5] http://followagirl.blogspot.com/2010/02/abortion-football-church-politics.html http://annieology.com/2010/02/ready-to-rumble/ February began like it does every year.  All of America on pins and needles, anxiously awaiting some rodent in Pennsylvania's determination as to whether or not spring is coming early this year.  Felpsy came home and proudly announced that it was Beaver Day and he'd made a hat to celebrate the rodent who came out, looked at the calendar and decided spring was coming the same time it does every year. March. Call it corporate conspiracy, but the kiosk at the mall only sells one calendar.  The calendar declaring winter's end in March.  Although here's a marketing idea for you Puxatawny, PA - rodent approved replacement pages declaring spring springing on February 2nd. Why is it that I'm not the leader of the free world with all my brilliant ideas?  My brilliance is going into 99 creative ways to do PB&J. Which goes completely against everything I learned at the career whatever it was that I participated in high school.  I like completed tasks.  I only feel fulfilled when a task is completed.  Which made parenting a really good career choice. While the big task won't be completed for another thirteen years, I can still take pride in the daily victories. Like not having bears in the house. You know, like when campers ignore the warning signs and leave food in their car only to wake up and find that a couple of bears have systematically removed their windshield and eaten their seats.  Yeah, like that.  Because despite my repeated warnings that we will have cockroaches if the kids don't stop hiding food under the couch in the playroom.  We still have food under the couch in the playroom.  Every. Day. While I understand academically the whole attachment disorder, it is another thing to live with it.  Every. Day.  Yes, I can read on their psych evals that they have little to no "cause and effect" thinking, but it is an entirely different thing to have to parent three children who cannot process information.  They have coping skills in the 12% of normal range.  Now, I didn't get a degree in child development, but five year olds are not known for their coping skills to begin with, and to take away 88% of that from one (or three in my case) Yikes!!! I'm looking forward to the teen years when, EVEN IF THEY QUADRUPLE THEIR SKILL, they will not even be coping at 50% of a normal teen.  Which is fine, because fully functioning teens cope so well with things already. Almost as well as two year olds. So, I am off to another day on the hamster wheel that is trying to teach cause and effect to children who lost that ability somewhere.   Trying to somehow convey the fact that when you spill you get wet.  Or if you drop something you can also pick it up.  Maybe I'll throw in the difference between the upper and lower case R's.  And if I'm feeling really cocky I will also tell teach them that seasons are indeed determined by rodents, regardless of what the calendar says. http://annieology.com/2010/02/ground-hogs-beavers-and-bears-oh-my/ The twins have been attending a Mother's Day Out program at a local church for several years.  Yesterday the Princess came home and told me she wasn't going to be a bangager when she grew up. Inquiring minds want to know.  What is a "bang - ager". "Well,"  she says, "it's like a teenager.  But they bang in a gang or something." "Hmm? What are they banging." "Oh drums and stuff like that, I got a note." So, interested in what the gospels had to say about drum banging hordes of teens, I pulled out the note that informed the children and parents that it was now illegal to participate in gang related activities near pre-schools. Oh good, because that's really a problem we've been having. http://annieology.com/2010/02/dont-be-a-bangager/ So, Tech Support bought me a Mac.  How much does he love me?  So much.  Also, as an aside.  I think the Mac cost more than my engagement ring.  It's much more useful than my ring so I'm not complaining. I'm playing with all the fun stuff, and btw - so much easier to use than Linux on a Windows machine. Thanks baby.  You're the best! http://annieology.com/2010/02/im-a-mac/ I know I promised to change the world again today, but quite frankly I needed a mental health day. Getting myself all worked up with what is wrong with the world.  So Essie's challenge [1] was a welcomed break. I must now confess my music listening sins. I listen to Christmas music all year long.  Drives Tech Support absolutely crazy.  I cannot publicly display my Christmas-ness until after Thanksgiving.  Marital bliss and submitting and what not.  Actually, I don't think he minds that much, I just find that I'm happier when he isn't giving me crap about how weird I am. Well, he married me. I also like really old country music.  Like stuff that came out on 8-track originally.  My sister and I used to get all the 8-track hand me downs from my dad and would listen to that in our shared room.  Fun times. Having just offended those who grew up when 8-tracks were the new hip thing.... I myself am getting old.  I have come to prefer silence.  Having three children who are five, you wouldn't think silence would be something I cherished, but yeah, it is. I have nothing on my ipod that I would die if someone found out.  And thanks to years and years of Tech Support working on my self esteem, I will sing each and every one of them loudly and badly.  (That can't be proper English) Blame him, I wouldn't even sing Happy Birthday to my kids 13 years ago.  True story. Now, I'm singing "Bitch" in the Christian book store.  Oops.  Deal with it, I am that song. [1] http://theaccidentalmommy.blogspot.com/2010/02/too-true-tuesday-14-shameful-secrets.html http://annieology.com/2010/02/too-true-tuesday/ Remember when David Letterman was PIMP funny?  Yeah.  And remember that Lost is on tonight, like you'd forget. Anyway, being somewhat of a Mommy Blogger I am seeing lots of requests for getting out information on donating breast milk to Haiti. I am ever the skeptical. Do they even have fridges?  I mean ones that are hooked up to electricity that is working? Turns out not. If you want to donate breast milk, they need your breasts there.   Except not.  They can't handle any more help that isn't already trained. There are several breast [1] milk [2] donation sites. Everyone is saying the same thing.  Donate and it will be used where it is needed.  Most likely locally. While poking around, I decided to see what the Red Cross [3] had to say about needs.  They need blood.  They always need blood.  Earthquakes and hurricanes aside.  Give blood.  Because as the Red Cross is pointing out...."That blood can only come from a volunteer donor" Which makes me laugh.  You mean I can't hold down people on the street and take it from them? Well, not in America you can't. So give blood.  And keep your shirt on. Unless you want to donate breast milk to American babies, which is needed and appreciated. Thankyouverymuch. [1] http://breastmilkproject.org/haiti.php [2] http://www.hmbana.org/ [3] http://www.redcrossblood.org/ http://annieology.com/2010/02/hopelessly-lost-but-making-good-time/ Ask Annie [1] goes into day two of my perfect world of foster care as asked by Socialwrkr 24/7 [2]. Yesterday, you'll remember I would start foster reform by kidnapping potential foster parents [3]. Today, I would stick all new placements in a shelter. That's right.  I said shelter. My assertion is that going directly from their home to to a foster home is traumatic on all children.  The newly placed foster children.  The children in the foster family, both Born of the Bodies and Born of the Hearts.  Traumatic for the new placements because they are going from TRAUMA of being kidnapped (taken forcibly from parents) to a "loving caring home" where they are the outsider.  It's like being the new kid at school on steroids. I think that transitioning them through a shelter would serve many purposes.  First, most kids are familiar with institutional type settings, say for example school.  The other kids would be new to the system as well and in a recovery mode.  This would also serve as a time for workers to find the BEST placement for the kid, not just a bed that happens to be open that night.  It would also allow easy access to medical and psychological care so that the needs of the child can be properly addressed in a timely manner.  I am fortunate to have a great relationship with a pediatrician and can get any of my kids a same day appointment.  However, when it comes to psychiatric care, I'm at the whim of cancellations until my next monthly appointment. It would also allow time for paperwork on the children to be found or processed.  Because all foster children use Medicaid a facility could process that paperwork and form relationships with the "make it happen fast" people in Medicaid.  (That phrase is why I'm the 16th funniest blogger in the World, thank you very much) I am not proposing we stick them in a shelter and forget them,  I am saying transition them where ever they are going from the shelter.  I believe every state has a two week hearing of some sort.  All this needs to be sorted out before that hearing if they will be staying in foster care.  It would also allow for family members seeking placement to have access to the children while their home studies are being expedited. If the kids will not be going home, or not be going to a family member they can be introduced slowly to the world of foster care.  State should pay for beds in foster homes that are not currently occupied, IF and I say it loudly IF the foster families seeking placement are volunteering their time in the shelters. It would certainly show the commitment level of the foster families.  It would also assure that families are not just filling beds with warm bodies and cashing their checks. It would introduce the kids to families, it would open the eyes of families to children they have deemed not a good fit for their homes, and it would not be as traumatic for other foster children in the home. Remember, every time a new kid comes "home" the dynamics of the house change.   It re traumatizes the children who have lived through the experience and makes them question what their place is in the home.  Everyone has to puff up their feathers and quite frankly the first month of a new kid sucks. If the families are volunteering their time in these shelters they might get a little insight into what they are getting into.  Also, if you have a fire starter there are homes for fire starters, believe it or not.  Every kid deserves to be in the best placement possible, as few placements as possible and for the shortest amount of time possible.  I think that committing to a two week transitional/best case scenario placement is not too much to ask for them. Should the child return home or to a family member it will not disrupt placements in the foster home because Johnny felt the need to punch someone in the trachea because there is a new kid in the house. Tune in tomorrow for more. [1] http://annieology.com/2010/01/dear-annie-4/ [2] http://eyesopenedwider.blogspot.com/ [3] http://annieology.com/2010/02/another-question-answered/ http://annieology.com/2010/02/ch-ch-ch-changes-in-foster-placements/ Socialworker 24/7 [1] asks :.what is the best and worst thing about foster care? And, what your dream system look like? :)" Oh, you know I stay awake nights thinking about this question. Best thing?  The people.  The worst.  The other people. I have met very many lovely people who love this work and are swimming up stream to try to make it a better thing for everyone involved. I have also met horrible people who run their agencies like a business.  And in business if you aren't turning a profit you aren't a good business person. As far as a perfect system, this will probably take the better part of the week. The first thing I would do is rock the world of any potential foster parent.  You want to be a foster parent?  Sign this waiver here and hire an attorney before you go to bed tonight. Seriously. Then,  I would kidnap them.  (after contacting their attorney and explaining it).  I would show up at their work, or their home and have men with guns escort them into a car.  If they had stuff with them I might not take very good care of it.  I might show up to dinner wearing their clothes.  They would not be allowed to call anyone they know.  They would be fed really weird food.  They would be rooming with one of my more rambunctious children.   They would have to worry if their family knew where they were.  If they were going to have a job when they returned, if someone was feeding their dog. Because foster parents just don't get it a lot of the time.  I see it every year that I go through the required classes.   Someone who thinks they are doing the kids a favor.   Someone who thinks that a warm and loving home is their gift to the world. And it may be. Eventually. But not tonight. No, tonight I am scared.  Worried.  Tired.  I would really prefer if you just left me the hell alone because I want to cry. And I need you to understand that. After that boot camp type training I would send them home.  All of their belongings thrown into trash bags.  Even if they had brought a bag with them.  Things get lost you know. And that would be the first thing I would change. [1] http://eyesopenedwider.blogspot.com/ http://annieology.com/2010/02/another-question-answered/ Tracey [1], one of my oldest and dearest blog friends, (and have I mentioned her cutey little baby?) asks. "If you were an animal ....what animal would you be? Why?" This proved to be more difficult than I thought.  The first thing that came to mind when I saw the question is the song we used to sing at Vacation Bible School. "If I were a butterfly, I thank the Lord that I could fly.  And if I were a chicken in a coop, I'd thank the Lord that I wasn't chicken soup." After I got done singing that little ditty in my head, I made a mental pro/con list.  Domestic v. Wild.  Big v. Little. I originally thought domestic, because most dogs in America have a better life than most humans in the world.  They live in nice houses, get regular medical attention, have domestic services, but they literally have to relinquish their balls for that right.  So, maybe not. If I were wild, I would have to spend my life in a "kill or be killed" environment.  Now, that's fine for about "three weeks" like when you are on The Amazing Race, or Survivor.  But not really a long term game plan. There was also the option of somewhere in between.  Like a cow.  I would then have no problem shopping at the Dress Barn.  Then realized the semi-domestic animals are most likely to become dinner.  This would be bad for me, but having the life purpose of ending up being someones steak.  That wouldn't be bad, I would have purpose.  I'd be Kobe so that I could get regular massages and maybe the occasional mani-pedi. So, I guess that's it.  I would be a Kobe cow.  And then I would eat myself, make myself into a purse.  Bringing joy to the world, much like I do now. [1] http://gracecomesbyhearing.blogspot.com http://annieology.com/2010/01/annie-answers-your-questions/ Since it's Saturday and only four people even read blogs on a Saturday I thought I would open it up to questions. You can ask me anything. Anything at all. You can either ask me a question you've been waiting your whole life to learn, "How do you not have a drinking problem?"  OR  for advice, "My boyfriend prepared a romantic dinner and then asked me for 50% ownership of my purse-a-poodle.  He wants me to sign a legal parenting agreement regarding the dog and his well being should we ever break up.  Is he gay?"  type of question.  Have you seen Million Dollar Listing?  That would be funnier if you had.  Because it is true.  TRUE. This will be fun. If you ask me a question.  Please ask me a question.  Make one up if you have to. http://annieology.com/2010/01/dear-annie-4/