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It Is Not Excessive To Want To Be Better Than Everyone Else

By annie

My counselor, whom I have been seeing since I left my husband, is giving me advice regarding how I am coping with this loss in my life.

Now, she says it’s not advice because she gives it in the form of a question….

“Annie, do you think drinking alone every night is a good way to deal with your …”

Um, yeah I DO.  Which was why I did it for like two weeks.  Now, I only drink with people, because as we all know our friends would never ever let us make bad decisions while we are drunk.  For example.  See high school.

“Annie, do you think excessive exercise is a good way to deal?”

UM, define “excessive” because I think you and I may have different definitions.  I mean, there are people who do not exercise who might die after ten minutes of anything.  I can run for hours and still want to do a handstand at the end.  I didn’t get there from doing 30 minutes of cardio twice a week.

Yes, I do yoga in the morning, pushups all day, run as many days as I can, if I’m not doing anything else, what is wrong with working out instead of watching the morbidly obese get yelled at on the Biggest Loser?

Yes, I can do a handstand unassisted.  Yes, I can do yoga things that require a picture and a three paragraph tutorial.  And you all know about the pushups.  I do not feel that it’s excessive to want to be better than everyone else.

People who want great things sometimes have to give up good things to get them.  What is wrong with that?

I was questioning this rationale earlier.  She advised me to sit and do nothing for thirty minutes a day.  No Tweeting, no exercise, not even stretching.  Just lie there.

OMG

Can someone kill me?

Do you know how much of my life has been spent just lying around?  I am now at a place where I can get by on 4 hours of sleep, I eat amazing food.  My energy has energy.  (and people who knew me when are like, Really? ) I love nothing more than trying something new and feeling like a train ran me over for the next three days.  I bounce out of bed at 6 and hardly stop until I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow at 2 or sometimes 3.

Yes, but Annie, someday you will get tired.

OK, that day, I will sleep.  I check my heart rate every morning.  It’s at least 15 bpm lower than “average” for a woman.  On days it is normal, I take it easy.  In the past year, I have been sick only once or twice, and still managed to run a half marathon with a sinus infection.

I tried really hard to sit still for half an hour today.  I ended up sleeping until 11. Which has driven me crazy all day.  I was supposed to “take it easy” on the running because…..

sidebar

A month ago I went to the doctor to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with my wonky hip.  Doctor “guessed” it was blah blah blah and told me to sit on my ass and hope it got better.  I did not like this plan.  I had been running a minimum of a 5K/day.  My hip, feels wonky, but not painful.  In October it was PAINFUL after 7 miles, now just wonky.  December my wonky hip gave me 10 miles.  If YOU, the doctor, doesn’t know if there is anything really wrong with it, I’m going to use my best judgment and probably run anyway.

My counselor questioned my reasoning.  If a DOCTOR tells you not to run, don’t you think you should listen to him? Well, if the doctor knows whats wrong, then yes.  Had he x-rayed me and said I had a broken hip, then sure, I’ll stop running.  But he was “guessing” and if I didn’t get better I should come back, pay more money for another guess?

So, I did not listen to the doctor who went to medical school.  I listened to Annie who has gone to Annie school.  Annie school says, “stop letting other people tell you what to do.  You know Annie better than anyone else knows Annie.  Go with that.”

And I did.  I ran a really good half marathon for someone who was supposed to sit it out.  And I felt amazing.

Although, after I slept all freakin day today, I questioned….Maybe I am tired.  Maybe I do need to “take it easy”.

Then I ran.  I ran awesomely.  I was all like “baby you’re a firework.  Boom boom boom”. Freakin rock star.  No!  I will not stop running.  I will not take it easy.

I am a runner.

It’s what I do.

If I can arrange my life to fit in a run of 40 minutes to 4 hours, then shut up.  I did what I do on all my runs.  I therapize myself.

You love running.  Why would you take it easy?   Because someone who doesn’t understand running told me to????? That’s stupid.  Yes, yes it is.

So, whether you are a doctor or a counselor or a boyfriend or a friend friend.  You don’t get to tell me what to do.  You can advise me in the form of a question if you’d like.  But don’t tell me I need to sit this one out.  I’m not going to.  I’m not going to slow down or take it easy anything else just because you say so. I am not going to edit myself on Twitter because I “might” cost me clients.  There are enough people who LOVE authenticity that are willing to pay me so they can look like I look.  I know this in places I didn’t know I had.  When companies ask me for my website, and Twitter handle, they get pointed to annieology.  If they don’t want to hire me because I said “phuck” today, then it’s better for the both of us, because I’m going to say “phuck” again tomorrow.

Will I miss out on good things?  Yes, but I will not have to compromise to do so.

Filed in: annieology • Tuesday, February 7th, 2012

Comments

I am nowhere near the activity level you are and not doing anything for 30 minutes would have driven me crazy. I can be very sloth like and can sit on my butt for hours knitting, watching TV, etc but I have to be somewhat engaged in some sort of activity (to be honest I’m usually knitting AND watching TV- not sure how people can just knit; I may have a touch of ADD).

[Reply]

By Denver Laura on February 8th, 2012 at 11:09 am

You’ve actually inspired me to exercise (well that and having to fit into a skimpy bridesmaid dress in a few months). I’m now running 3x a week and doing the day-number of pushups.

Some amount of coping and moping is ok. So drinking at home and missing the next day’s work I would think is excessive. But if you’re in no mood to go out, why drag other people down? In that kind of mood, you attract the wrong kind of “friends.” Excessive is relative. I’m with you – do what feels right for YOU.

[Reply]

i had a divorcee friend confess to me that she drank every night for a year.

a year.

if you haven’t walked (ran) in my shoes then you cannot tell me what is good or not good.

unfortunately…fortunately…my counselor has been in my shoes.

rock on annie.

[Reply]

You are awesome, it seems like the whole world want’s to hold you back and you don’t let them.

Life is a compititon, the winner has the best clothes, best lover, best art, best talent, and dance, and song. I thought wanting to be better than everyone, and knowing that what they say is wrong was just arrogance. But guess what, I am proud and I will not stop practing and trying untill I am better than everyone who told me what I couldn’t do.

When you listen to others, their boundriess become your boundriess. when you listen to yourself, you are unlimited. You inspire me with your passion and your crazy rave about your phycatrist. Way to go girl. Your my Hero. I am also my Hero.

[Reply]

 

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Annie is all things awesome. Singer of songs, thinker of thoughts, runner of miles. When she isn't getting paid to kick ass as a personal trainer and health coach, she's looking for her keys.