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An Ode to Former Lovers

By annie

You wore white jeans. You smelled like fresh laundry. You hair was the first thing I noticed. Or was it your voice?

You looked professional. Wore a Swatch.  Two, if I remember correctly.

I changed my shirt at the last minute, from the perfect one to an ok one.

You took my breath. You made me laugh.

Well, I laughed because I was nervous.  Maybe you weren’t as funny as I pretended you were.

You made me feel seen. Sexy even. Funny. Interesting. Smart. You looked at me. Laughed at my jokes. Which weren’t that funny.

It wasn’t love yet, but it would be.

I need to “come clean” about one thing. I lied to you. Repeatedly. When I told you that I’d love you for as long as you let me, i lied. You won’t let me love you anymore, but I’m going to love you forever.

You gave me fireworks. Literally. You bought me shit at the airport. I still have the first gift you gave me. Every where I look are fragments of you.

Thank You for the yoga mat that is really the best yoga mat every made. The bonus gift one I was using sucked. It really did.

The you for the trees  Both times.

Thank  for motorcycles. Thank you for runny egg sandwiches. Thank you for the sous vide, I give you an A plus for that.

Thank you for my sons and daughters. Thank you for camping. Thank you for floating the river. Thank you for the beach.

Thank you for teaching me how to live. Teaching me how to love. How to fucK. How to let go. How to laugh again.

Thank you for helping me. For telling me the truth when I needed to hear it. Thank you for leaving. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for helping me pick up the pieces. Thank you for keeping a piece of it for yourself.

Filed in: annieology • Wednesday, May 15th, 2019
 

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Annie is all things awesome. Singer of songs, thinker of thoughts, runner of miles. When she isn't getting paid to kick ass as a personal trainer and health coach, she's looking for her keys.