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My Name’s Annie

By annie

Stop what you are doing and go and download the Annie app on your iphonic devices NOW. Go!! I’ll wait.

OK now tickle me.

Wasn’t that the most fun ever?

Yes I’m a dork.

Once upon another time, I would have been discouraged from demanding strangers from the Internet tickle me.

Now, I’m looking to monetize it.

Whatever.

I’ve been watching the #kidpresident video all week. “Not cool Robert Frost” makes me laugh every time. The kid didn’t seem to keen on the road less traveled.

I, however, keen.

My calling in life is to make the world a more awesome place. Abolish boring. SLOW DOWN.

I listen to TEDtalks every day. Today I listened to one about smiling. We all love babies and kids. Why? Because they SMILE 400 times a day. Most adults don’t smile even 25 times each day. Adults are boring. (Need to rethink that having just stated I want to abolish boring. Should any boring people die tonight, IT WASNT ME.)

Laughing is my favorite. I laugh every day. Sometimes for reasons other than my own hilarity. Because to me, I’m super funny. Possibly the only one who understands my jokes, but I am funny. My adventures make me smile. There have been times where I have nearly hurt myself with the hilarity that has ensued. If you’ve heard the garlic story you know.

Without an editor and a lot of editing you might not understand that this is all to say,

“Go do something that makes you happy.”

Download your app and tickle yourself.

Take the road less traveled.

When the world tries to keep you in line, tell the world to fuck right off. You march to the beat of your own drum.

A year ago, I sat in a divorce attorney’s office where my husband was demanding I sign papers that contained errors and that I hadn’t fully read while his hand inched up my thigh. I had done my best to be the best wife ever and somehow ended up with someone who wanted the perks but not the responsibility.

After I stormed out of there without signing papers, it was over. Really truly this time over. Even though we had just spent the weekend together. Hell, we’d just spent the morning together. He was “falling for me” and I was “falling for it” and an hour later he signed his responsibility to me away.

He demanded I work. That he stop providing for me, and I was afraid. Fear would have me working at Target for minimum wage folding towels because OMG what’s going to happen to me?

I took the road less traveled. I told him as long as we were married he was paying for his wife’s living expenses and I was going to build my business.

It’s been a year. I’ve made some money, but for the most part it’s been a sabbatical.

An adventure.

I’ve focused on what it is I truly want out of life.

I’ve made questionable decisions.

I’ve done it wrong.

I truly believe that the year that I invested in myself will catapult me to the front of the line.

How’s that working out for me? Pretty fucking great.

How’s normal working out for the rest of you?

Filed in: Weekend • Saturday, February 9th, 2013
 

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Annie is all things awesome. Singer of songs, thinker of thoughts, runner of miles. When she isn't getting paid to kick ass as a personal trainer and health coach, she's looking for her keys.